


War of Hearts

by Queenofdaydream



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Action, Angst, Bittersweet, Drama, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort, Isabelle Lightwood - Freeform, Kidnapping, Luke Garroway - Freeform, M/M, Magic, Maryse Lightwood - Freeform, Post Season 1, Robert Lightwood - Freeform, Romance, Sacrifice, Shadowhunters - Freeform, alec lightwood - Freeform, badass magnus, big bad villain, challenge, dark magnus, jace wayland - Freeform, magnus bane - Freeform, tense moments, valentine morgenstern - Freeform, villain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 10:36:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 42,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7614751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofdaydream/pseuds/Queenofdaydream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two days after Jocelyn woke up, Alec is still struggling with his feelings for Magnus. Magnus being immortal is not the only barrier that gets between them. Are Magnus and Alec strong enough to overcome those challenges? Will Alec figure out what he wants before it's too late? Post season 1 story. Malec and other characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. No Future

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first Shadowhunters story and I'm really excited to share it here! It follows the season finale of the tv show, so if you don't want spoilers be careful to read... The first chapters are short, but they will get longer I promise! Let me know what you think. Enjoy! ^.^

" _Yeah, but what she said about you being immortal... She's right. You watch the people you care about age and die."_

" _Alexander… I may be the High Warlock of Brooklyn, but... Even I can't see the future."_

Alec ignored Magnus's fifth phone call. He'd been avoiding him ever since they woke Jocelyn two days ago. There were many reasons. He'd been thinking non-stop about what Camille said earlier. Even if he did start dating Magnus, where would it all end? Sure they could have fun for a while, but that wasn't enough for Alec.

He didn't want to be with Magnus just for fun. And he doubted Magnus wanted that either. That became clear to him by the way Magnus responded to his kiss – with passion and tenderness and very eager for more. The way he showed up at his wedding and saved him from committing the biggest mistake of his life made him realize that he truly cared about Magnus. He didn't want to hurt him. He didn't want him to create expectations just to have them get ripped away later. One way or another Alec was definitely going to die and Magnus would have no choice but to watch it happen.

Alec let out a sigh as he decided that this relationship had no future. He hated the situation, but he really didn't see anything that could give him hope about it. The last two days had been agonizing to Alec since this is all he'd been able to think about – besides Jace being away with Valentine.

_I can't do this. It wouldn't be fair to Magnus._

With his decision made, he headed back to his room but stopped when Izzy crossed his path.  
  
"Hey, big brother!" she said with a bright smile on her face. "How was that first date?"  
  
Alec took a deep breath before responding. Ever since that kiss she'd been practically begging him for romance details.  
  
"There wasn't one, Izzy," he said, keeping his voice and face emotionless.  
  
"What? Why not?" Izzy's smile faded a little. "I thought you wanted this."  
  
"Yeah, sure. I do, just not now."

Alec didn't want her to know his true thoughts about this matter. All he wanted was to go to bed and fall into a dreamless sleep. He was so tired of thinking about this. He was tired of the pain it caused him. So without any more words he turned his back to Izzy and stepped on the stairs ready to head to his room. But Izzy wasn't giving up that easily.  
  
"You don't have to stop living just because Jace isn't here, Alec," she said and Alec knew from her voice that she wasn't smiling anymore. He closed his eyes and thought _God, she can be so nagging sometimes_ and sighed before turning back to face her.  
  
"I know. And I'm not, it's just… there's a lot to do now. We have to figure out a way to get Jace back. And stop Valentine. Dates can wait."

These had been a really busy past few days, so she'd have to accept that excuse for now. At least that's what Alec hoped.  
  
Izzy didn't say a word. She just raised her eyebrow and gave him the look that always made Alec feel uncomfortable. Like she knew exactly what was going on in his head.  
  
"Goodnight, Izzy," he said softly and finally got away from her. He really wished she would just forget this Magnus thing ever existed and move on. But knowing Isabelle he had a feeling she wasn't going to let it go just yet.


	2. I'm an idiot!

Magnus let his phone fall down on the bed. He was frustrated, because Alec had just ignored his fifth call. He didn't know what to make out of this sudden change of behavior. Sure there was the thing that Camille had done, that bloodsucking demon had to come and ruin the tiny bit of happiness Magnus had with Alec so far. Despite her efforts, Magnus was hoping that Alec wasn't going to let that come between them. Apparently he was wrong.  
  
"Alexander… why do you have to make things so difficult?" he mumbled to himself as he walked down from his bedroom to get a drink.

As he poured himself a bubbly orange one he was wondering if he should go to the Institute and speak to Alec personally. He didn't want to be too pushy – _might be too late for that_ – but with every second spent without talking to Alec, Magnus felt like his chance at happiness was slipping through his fingers. And he was not ready to lose the hope that kiss ignited in him.  
  
That kiss was better than any kind of magic. It was better than anything he could have hoped for. Magnus was very relieved and happy to watch Alec step down from the alter. But he never would have imagined what he'd do next. Alec kissing him was as shocking to him as it was…. well. Only the best thing that had happened to him in a whole century. It was a perfect moment when nothing else mattered. The memory of Alec's soft lips pressed against his, the warmth of his mouth, the touch of Alec's skin on his, the way he grabbed him, the hunger which guided Alec, hunger for something that could save him, and the sparks of joy it sent to every inch of Magnus's body… just thinking about it made Magnus breathless. And he's been spending a lot of time thinking about it lately.  
  
With the drink in his hand he turned around just to see Ragnor Fell crash onto the black couch.  
  
"Well, well, I must congratulate you, my friend. I knew you would go after the boy," he said with a satisfied smile on his face.  
  
"You might be a little late, my friend," Magnus responded with bitterness. He wasn't surprised to see his old deceased friend there. Since the day he woke Jocelyn and Alec started ignoring him he'd felt very lonely. He missed his best friend and still hasn't fully recovered from losing him. He desperately needed someone to talk to, but he had no one. No one alive, anyway.  
  
"What are you talking about? That kiss was _glorious_!" Ragnor yelled that last word out with such enthusiasm as if he was the one who got kissed, not Magnus.  
  
"Yes, that kiss was indeed magnificent." Magnus walked to his friend, sat on the armchair next to him and crossed his right leg over his left.

He agreed with Ragnor's statement and held up his drink to show it. But without even taking a sip, he put it down on the center table and sighed. Ragnor looked at him confused.  
  
"Now, tell me what happened," he demanded.  
  
"Camille happened," Magnus responded looking defeated.  
  
"Oh, come on! You're not letting that hag come between you and love, are you!?" Ragnor sat up straight on the couch to face Magnus.  
  
"Well, I'm trying. Not that it's making any difference. He even called our first date off." Magnus gave Ragnor big sad eyes.  
  
"Maybe he's frightened of Camille. That's understandable."  
  
Magnus shook his head and said "No, that's not it." He knew no vampire could scare Alec so much to make him stop talking to him.  
  
"Well then maybe she said something that made him have second thoughts. Did she threaten him?"  
  
"No, all she said was that we won't last. Because of my immortality. But surely that didn't…" Magnus stopped talking out of a sudden and stared at Ragnor like he just realized he was there. He remembered his last conversation with Alec, right before he had woken Jocelyn up, and it all made sense now. "Oh, my sweet Alec. He just doesn't want me to get hurt! Because he cares for me, I know that, I felt it. And I thought he regretted this whole thing after he saw Camille kiss me. I am such an idiot, Ragnor!" Magnus jumped up on his feet.  
  
"Well…. can't really say I disagree on _that_ ," Ragnor said with a smirk.  
  
"I must go and see him. He can't make this decision for me." Magnus saw his friend nod in approval then walked up to his room quickly. He turned around to thank Ragnor for helping him out again, but his friend was gone.


	3. I want you safe

Alec left the emergency reunion with his head buzzing. They had just found out about Valentine's latest move. It seems like he's going after warlocks since he'd managed to kill three of them in only one week. And his army was getting bigger each day. Not to mention Jace being on his side. Alec thought that his wedding had caused enough problems and drama to deal with, but clearly he was wrong. That was nothing compared to what was going on now. He wanted Jace back and he wanted Magnus to be safe from Valentine. With every new development of this insane war Valentine had declared, Alec felt more and more worried about the ones he cared about. He wasn't sure how much more he could take before completely losing it.

He walked into the room of weapons and separated his arch and arrow for tonight's investigation. He was going to lead a group of shadowhunters to the three murdered warlocks' homes to figure out how Valentine got to them. They needed to know what resources he had in order to find warlocks and break powerful protection spells. This was important for the entire Shadow World.

As Alec touched his arch he remembered when Magnus refused it as payment for defending Izzy on trial. He still couldn't believe he did that for him. Alec was going to be in debt to him forever.

He left the weapons roomand he saw Magnus staring at him from the bottom of the stairs.  
  
 _Speaking of the devil…_ he thought, his heart beat faster and a knot formed in his stomach as if tiny kittens were jumping all over it. Magnus looked absolutely fabulous with the dark purple blazer and the golden tie he was wearing on top of the white button-up shirt and the matching purple pants. _How does he do it?_ Alec wondered as he approached him. He admired Magnus's closet, but he knew his clothes would look ridiculous on him. Only Magnus could pull that stuff off.

"What are you doing here? We didn't call you," he said when he reached him.  
  
"Is that the only reason why you would talk to me now, Alec? Only if there was another emergency in the Shadow World?" Magnus seemed hurt by that assumption.  
  
"Well, there aren't any emergencies for now." Alec didn't want him to find out about the dead warlocks. Making Magnus worry about it too wasn't going to help anyone. "And I'm kinda busy right now," he added as he walked up the stairs, heading to his bedroom. Magnus followed him.  
  
"I understand that. But that doesn't mean you can't answer your phone, Alec," he said bitterly to Alec's back. Alec was going so fast he had trouble keeping up with him.  
  
"There's nothing for us to talk about," Alec said coldly.  
  
"Really? What about that date _you_ suggested?"  
  
"That was before Jace went missing."  
  
"He didn't go missing, Alec. He chose to go with Valentine out of his free will."  
  
Alec stopped and turned back to face Magnus. They were at the corner of the corridor that led to his bedroom and they found themselves alone in it. Alec looked dead serious at Magnus who didn't look very different.  
  
"He went with Valentine, because he threatened to hurt the people he loves. That's not free will to me. That's just a different form of kidnapping." He was so angry just thinking about this, he knew his anger was plain on his face.  
  
"But he won't leave Valentine until he feels he's ready. You know that, I'm sure."  
  
Alec tried hard not to think about that, even though he knew Magnus was probably right.

"So this is reason you won't talk to me? Because of Jace?" Magnus changed the subject.  
  
"I'm not in the mood for dating until we get him back." That wasn't even a lie. His priority now was definitely Jace.  
  
"And it has nothing to do with what Camille said the other day… about me being immortal and you…"  
  
 _"No."_ Alec didn't let him finish his sentence and shook his head like this issue hadn't even crossed his mind.  
  
Magnus looked at him suspiciously, and Alec realized how much he loved Magnus's eyes. He looked away from them as soon as that thought hit him.  
  
"You know…" Magnus took one step closer to Alec to say this "There is a spell for detecting lies." he said quietly and watched Alec intensely.

 _Crap… is that true? It can't be._ _Can it?_ Alec was trying not to let his thoughts betray him and made a poker face.  
"No, there isn't," he said coolly facing Magnus again, but inside he was dreading Magnus's answer.  
  
They stared at each other for a few seconds, one challenging the other until Magnus gave up with a frustrated sigh.  
  
"Dammit." He looked away disappointed.

Alec knew he should feel mad about Magnus's little trick, but he thought he was being kind of cute. He pressed his lips together to hide the smile that was about to take over him, although he was afraid it had turned out more like a weird grimace. He sighed and his voice and face softened as he looked at Magnus again.  
  
"Look, I told you. I can't think of dating or doing anything that's not gonna help me get Jace back."  
  
"Then let me help you." Magnus was still looking at him like he was afraid of losing a battle.  
  
"No. You just stay out of this," Alec said firmly. The last thing he wanted was Magnus getting himself involved in risky missions, especially now that Valentine was going after warlocks.  
  
"It's not like I haven't helped before."  
  
"This is different. I…" _…want you safe_ was how he wanted to finish the sentence, but he hesitated and then Isabelle turned the corner and the moment was gone.

"Oh, Magnus!" she sounded surprised to see him there. "So you heard about the warlock situation."  
  
 _No…. Izzy… You did not just say that…_ Alec suddenly felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water on his head. _This can't be happening…  
_  
It was Magnus's turn to look surprised.  
  
"What warlock situation?" he asked looking from Isabelle to Alec and then back to Isabelle.  
  
"You haven't told him yet?" she asked Alec unbelieving.  
  
"Told me what, dear?" Magnus asked with a nervous smile.  
  
"You know, Izzy, it's _very rude_ to barge into someone else's private conversation," Alec lashed out at his sister. He was shaking from rage and while trying to catch his breath he gave Isabelle the death sentence with his eyes.

Awkward could have been written all over Izzy's forehead. But she couldn't turn away from the question now.  
  
"That Valentine is going after warlocks and has killed three more of them since last week…" she said avoiding both Alec's and Magnus's looks.  
  
"Oh…" Magnus didn't expect that. He didn't know how to react to this information. Then he turned to Alec and asked "And you didn't want me to know this, because…." He waited for Alec to finish the sentence.  
  
"The less people know, the better. Can't trust anyone these days," Alec said avoiding Magnus, who took a step closer to him.  
  
"Or… maybe… you wanted to protect me. Which is really… heartwarming under the circumstances." For the first time since Magnus had arrived to the Institute he looked relieved and gave Alec a small smile. Alec turned his back on him and shook his head. He couldn't believe that things were happening exactly the opposite way he wanted them to happen.  
  
Isabelle took Magnus's line as her cue and snuck out of the corridor towards her bedroom.

Magnus waited until Isabelle was away enough and stepped in front of Alec who had crossed his arms in protest.  
  
"Alec, look at me." Magnus looked at him the way that made Alec lose his breath, so he had to close his eyes for a second to recover himself. When he opened them Magnus was still giving him that look. Alec took a deep breath and listened.  
  
"At I am touched by your concern for me. But I can take care of myself." He gave Alec that coy smile he was used to. "Trust me when I say that it's not going to be easy for Valentine to get to me. In fact, it might just be, let's not say impossible, but _extremely_ difficult."  
  
"You don't know that for sure," Alec protested.  
  
"Oh, but I do. And so does he. He's not going to waste his limited resources on an impossible mission. He has bigger plans than a useless witch-hunt. I hope," He added with a small sigh.  
  
"It's not useless to him. He wants to eliminate all Downworlders. Starting with warlocks might just be the smartest way for him to accomplish that." Alec understood Valentine's tactics. Warlocks united with the Clave represented the greatest potential enemy he could face. Hence, he wanted to get rid of the warlocks so desperately. And he knew Magnus wasn't blind to see this either. But it killed Alec inside that Magnus was in more danger since they'd met.  
  
"I will move the lair tonight," Magnus said and Alec knew he was trying to ease his anxiety. "And put up more protection spells, if that will ease your mind."

Alec didn't respond. Magnus took a deep breath and said "Okay. I'm gonna go now. There's only so much progress we can make in one day. You try not to worry yourself to death. It won't do your beautiful face much good." He winked at Alec and turned away to leave.  
  
"It's just…" Alec said out of a sudden. Magnus turned back to him waiting for him to finish. "Valentine took Jace… I don't want him to take anyone else," Alec said staring at the floor.  
  
Alec finally looked up at Magnus. He meant what he'd said, but he also didn't want to show Magnus the full extent of his emotions. But Magnus wasn't concerned about hiding his emotions at all. He looked at Alec in a way that made Alec want to hug him. So Alec looked back down at the floor to control himself and waited for Magnus to speak again. Alec fixed his last words to him before leaving deep in his memory and would later hold on to them almost as a prayer.  
  
"He won't. I promise you, Alexander."


	4. Back in the Closet

_Oooh, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap… what have you done, Izzy?_

Isabelle had been walking up and down for the last ten minutes thinking about what she'd just done. Causing problems for Alec and Magnus was the last thing she wanted, but she might have just done exactly that. She didn't like the way Alec looked at her after her slip.

_I bet he's sooo mad right now._

To confirm her suspicion, Alec stormed into Isabelle's room right after Magnus left the Institute. "I'm not talking to you for _a week!"_ he declared it like he was declaring war.  
  
"Oh, _grow up_ , Alec! You really think he wouldn't have found out on his own?" Isabelle fought back.  
  
"You're not helping, Izzy! You're _never_ helping." Alec was panting.  
  
"That's not fair. You know, I want to help you, Alec, but you're not letting me." Isabelle confronted him with her hands on her hips.  
  
"Really? After everything that I've been through? You think it was easy for me to give up that wedding and declare myself to Magnus like that?"  
  
"Then why are you resisting it so hard now? The hardest part is over. You already admitted you like him, Alec. The whole world knows. So what's the problem?"  
  
"It's none of your concern, okay?" Alec lowered his voice, but his tone was still harsh. "Just keep yourself out of my life for now. I can't deal with any more drama, Izzy."

Isabelle wasn't sure if it was only her impression, but it looked like Alec was on the edge of tears and it hit her like a punch in the stomach.  
  
"Alec… you can talk to me. About anything that's bothering you…"  
  
"There's nothing bothering me. I have to go. They're waiting for me and I need to change." Alec turned his back on her and walked to the door.  
  
"I'll go with you." Izzy said. She wanted to be there for him even if it was only for a mission.  
  
"I don't need your help." Alec didn't even turn back to say that. He walked out of the room and shut the door behind him.

Isabelle crashed onto her bed with a sigh.

_Well done on going back into the closet, big brother._

She knew Alec was still in pain and it killed her that she couldn't help him. She wanted him to be happy more than anything. It pained her that he was back at stage one, denying his feelings. It got her by surprise that Valentine's warlock hunt would hit him so hard. Alec was afraid of losing Magnus after just getting a taste of happiness with him. Isabelle understood that. She just wished he trusted her enough to talk to her about his feelings. _Yeah, that's not happening anytime soon._

She laid on her back, closed her eyes and imagined a world where Valentine was defeated, Jace was back with them, everyone was safe, Alec was happy with Magnus, their parents accepted it, and Isabelle could be with… _No._ She wasn't going to think about _her_ relationship drama. There were enough problems giving her a headache already.


	5. A Furious Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh, big bad villain finally makes an appearance!

Jace had spent the last two days mostly walking up and down on the container ship he, Valentine and his newly made shadowhunters were traveling on. On the second night they reached Boston. It took them two days to get there because Valentine wanted to travel at specific hours of the night. They stayed at high sea during the day to avoid being noticed, and Jace had spent these two days just walking around nervously, because he hadn't been able to find out anything about Valentine's plans.

He was restless. Valentine wanted Jace with him, but he didn't trust him. Jace felt completely useless and frustrated. If only he could find out some piece of information, anything relevant that he could turn into an advantage against Valentine… But he was in a dead end.

"Where are we going?" Jace asked Valentine as he stepped next to him. The crew were unloading the ship and transporting the stuff into the vans Valentine rented. Most of it was weapons, but they included clothing items and other supplies.

"We're staying in town for a while," was all Valentine said. He was contemplating the city without giving Jace a look.

Jace rolled his eyes in frustration. He'd only found out they were heading to Boston when the ship started approaching the port. Valentine didn't let him know anything in advance. It made Jace mad like he's never been before.

"Why are we here?" he asked barely keeping it together.

"We can't stay in New York with all the shadowhunters looking for us. But also we can't go very far for reasons you will yet discover."

"What – " Jace started again.

"Patience, Jonathan," Valentine interrupted him and he didn't say anything else until they reached their destination in the city. It was an abandoned warehouse in an isolated area of the city. Jace tried to memorize the way they were taking to get there, but he gave up after a couple of blocks. He's never been to Boston and the city was huge. _It's okay_ , Jace thought, _I'll just get them a message to check out every abandoned warehouse in Boston_.

But he knew it wasn't that simple. Once they were inside Valentine was going to glamour the place so it would look like something else. And Jace doubted he could get near a phone easily. They spent about an hour on their way to the building and during that time Jace was desperately trying to come up with an idea to find out more about Valentine's plans, but he didn't get anywhere.

The warehouse was completely empty on the inside. Valentine's crew of shadowhunters – or a part of it - were already inside organizing some of the stuff they brought with them.

Jace noticed that it wasn't even half of the things that they transported on the ship. Where did they take the rest of the stuff? Where were the rest of the shadowhunters? Jace was confused and angry about not knowing how to answer any of these questions. He just watched the shadowhunters do their job under the dim light quietly.

 _This is unbelievable. They truly follow him._ Jace couldn't understand how someone in their right mind would follow Valentine's orders. But these shadowhunters were made by him, they had a sense of gratitude and loyalty to Valentine. It just made Jace sick.

Later that night Valentine organized a little celebration and Jace found out the reason. Three more warlocks were dead and that made Valentine very happy.

"My companions! Tonight we celebrate another small step towards our goal, but let's not forget we still have a lot of work to do. There are still too many warlocks living among us. The _worst_ type of Downworlders!" he yelled that last phrase. "And we will _not_ rest until we have wiped all of them off this world!"

The shadowhunters all yelled in approval. There were hundreds of them. Jace couldn't understand how Valentine succeeded in making so many shadowhunters in so little time using the Mortal Cup. He was certainly very lucky that the majority of mundanes drinking from it didn't die.

When Valentine was done with his little speech and was left alone by his admirers, Jace approached him.

"Why warlocks?" he wanted to know.

"They are the most powerful of the Downworlders. We should get rid of them first. I can't have them getting in the way of our taking over the Shadow World."

"Why would they even care? It's not like they're desperate to rule the Shadow World or anything. They're not even involved with any shadowhunter business," Jace said.

"I don't think that's accurate, Jonathan. If I'm not mistaken there is at least one warlock who's been sticking his filthy hands where they don't belong. Magnus Bane was publicly last seen at a wedding that _you_ attended just a week ago." Valentine got closer to Jace, who tried to avoid his look at the mention of Magnus's name. "I heard some interesting things about that wedding." Valentine watched Jace closely, but Jace decided he wasn't going to give him anything, so he crossed his arms and stayed put.

"I heard… he actually _stopped_ the wedding. He stopped a sacred ritual between two shadowhunters. How dare one Downworlder do something like this? Where do they get the audacity from?" Valentine switched to plural form as if the entire Shadow World with all it's downworlders had marched into the Institute to stop Alec's wedding.

 _Don't answer him, Jace. Just stay cool._ Jace took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. He started stomping his foot on the ground nervously.

"This has gone too far. They need to be stopped," Valentine was speaking faster, like he was about to do another speech. He was getting outraged. "The way they think they can manipulate shadowhunters to get what they want. And none of the shadowhunters, not even your parabatai's parents, did anything to stop him! Don't you see it, Jonathan? How can you not see it!? You're my son. I taught you better!"

" _Stop it_!" Jace finally snapped. "You have no idea what you're talking about! First of all, it's none of your damn business what other shadowhunters do with their lives. Second of all, Magnus didn't manipulate Alec. He truly cares about him. And I care about Alec. So if this makes him happy… So be it. You have no right to judge." Jace was not going to let him speak like that about Alec. He cast him a look full of hatred.

But it didn't have the expected effect on Valentine. The angry expression on his face shifted into a sly smile.

"Well, thank you, son. You told me everything I needed to know." And he turned away from Jace, getting his phone out of his jacket.

 _What!?_ Jace was confused. Suddenly panic took over his chest. He did his best to hide it, but that wasn't enough.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded.

_No. This can't be what I think it is… He can't do this. He wouldn't…._

Jace stopped breathing. He was completely paralyzed waiting for Valentine's reaction.

"It may be hard to get an ancient warlock out of its heavily protected lair. But getting your hands on a young shadowhunter facing all sorts of dangerous things in the middle of the night? Not so much," Valentine said looking Jace in eye cold-heartedly.

Jace just stood there for a couple of seconds, taking it in. He couldn't believe Valentine. And he couldn't believe his own stupidity. He let Valentine fool him, manipulate the information he needed out of Jace. He just _let him._

Fury took over Jace and he lashed out at Valentine.  
"You bastard! You touch Alec and I will kill you with my _bare hands_!" Jace yelled at him and if it wasn't for two shadowhunters holding him back, he would have definitely attacked Valentine. He was shaking and breathing heavily.

"I don't want to hurt your friend, Jonathan. What I really want is Magnus Bane," Valentine said with all the calmness and coldness in the world. "And I _will_ get him."


	6. Teared Up Souls

Alec didn't want to split up his team of shadowhunters to evaluate the three warlock lairs. He wanted to see all the damage by himself. Just like the others, this whole place was a mess, indicating that there had been a fight. They were looking for signs of demonic activity, because that's something that could have helped Valentine break in their homes. And they did find traces of it. Valentine was teaming up with demons to win this war.

_Things are not looking good here,_  Alec thought as he walked from the entrance to the living room where the origin of demonic activity was. There was a large hole on the ceiling and another one right beneath it on the floor; Alec imagined the demon had burst through a portal to get there after locating the lair. It was very alarming. Maybe staying in his lair wasn't the safest option for Magnus.

Alec grabbed his phone to call Magnus, but stopped just when he was about to dial. He stared at Magnus's name on his contact list, thinking about how much he missed him and that he could use his help to find out what kind of demon killed these warlocks. That was actually a good excuse to call him. But Alec knew it wouldn't be a smart move, he had to keep his distance from Magnus for their own good. But it would be so nice just to hear his voice…

Alec didn't realize that he was holding his breath as this struggle was going on in his head. He was still staring at Magnus's name when he got a text message from an unknown number. He opened it and froze as he read it.

_Alec, it's Jace. Just got away from Valentine. They're coming after me. Help me!_

"Jace…" Alec let out all the air he was holding and stared at the text with his hand shaking. Could this be true? Did Jace really get away from Valentine?

There was a small voice in Alec's head telling him this was too good to be true. He couldn't imagine Valentine so careless to let Jace escape from him just three days after capturing him. He got a second message.

_Alec! I need you!_

Alec felt a knot in his throat. He couldn't breathe. What if it _was_ true? He couldn't just ignore him.

He tried to call the number he got the messages from but the call didn't go through. Then he tried calling Izzy, but his phone was out of service.

"Dammit!" he cursed to himself and started walking up and down nervously.

Alec knew a trap when he saw one and these texts smelled and tasted like a trap for sure. But what if it really was Jace? There was an odd chance it could be him. He couldn't let his parabatai down. Besides, why would Valentine even want him? It didn't make any sense to Alec.

He wanted to believe it was true. Just thinking about seeing Jace made him excited. There was nothing he wanted more right now.

Alec decided to ignore the insistent little voice. He sighed and, fully aware that he was probably walking into a trap, texted back.

_Where are you?_

* * *

"Hi, Magnus!" Isabelle greeted the warlock with a small smile. She didn't feel very happy after her fight with Alec, but she didn't want to let it show.  
"Isabelle! What brings you here?" Magnus wasn't that excited to see her. If she wasn't Alec's sister, he probably would have shut the door in her face. He wasn't in a mood to see people.

Isabelle walked in Magnus's place gracefully. She was dressed up for a long night of demon hunting. Magnus admired her whip rolled up on her arm up to her wrist when he saw that she was holding something white.

"What can I do for you?" he asked her with drawn eyes.

"Jocelyn sent me. She wants to ask you to help her find Jace," Isabelle said and handed him the white thing. It was a t-shirt.

"This belongs to Jace, I assume." Magnus knew what she wanted him to do.

Isabelle nodded. "Actually, I don't know why we haven't thought of this before." She looked at him with hope.

Magnus let out a sigh. "Very well. "

He pressed the t-shirt between his two hands and closed his eyes. He focused on Jace and seeked him out in his mind. His body tensed and he knew something was wrong. Instead of finding Jace, he saw an endless black wall. He pulled more magic into the search and the wall approached him fast until it hit him and pushed him away. Magnus took a step back and opened his eyes. Isabelle was watching him with concern.

"Well… That was certainly not expected," Magnus said in disbelief.

"What? What happened?" Isabelle couldn't hide the panic in her voice.

"I can't see him. Something's blocking me." Magnus shook his head and gave the t-shirt back to Isabelle.

"How can that happen?" Isabelle was confused.

"Well, it could be another warlock. Or a demon - a pretty powerful one."

"My bet is on demon. There can hardly be any warlocks working with him since…" she interrupted herself in time.

"Since he's killing them?" Magnus finished her sentence with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry," she said awkwardly.

"Don't worry about it. We have to face the truth." He smiled at her. He turned away to pull himself and Isabelle a drink. "Have you heard from Alexander yet?" he asked.

"No. But it's only been 12 hours. He had a long ride. I'm sure he'll contact us as soon as he finds something useful."

Magnus wasn't convinced of that. He handed Isabelle her drink with a doubtful look.  
"Don't worry, he'll be fine." Isabelle assured him.

"I offered him my help, you know. And he refused it." His voice revealed he was heartbroken by how things ended between him and Alec in the Institute.

"Magnus… he cares about you, that's why he refused it. He wants to protect you." Isabelle was doing her best to make him feel better.

"I can protect myself. I wish he would trust me more," Magnus said all melancholic.

"He does. He doesn't let his emotions show, but I know my brother. He thinks this is the best way to protect you. And you're just gonna have to be patient, because he's as stubborn as a thick wall." Isabelle rolled her eyes at that. "Give him time. He will come to his senses." Magnus admired her for trying so hard to help him. But she couldn't ease his pain.

Magnus took a sip of his drink and crossed his arms. He enjoyed the challenge getting Alec's attention had been. But it wasn't about the chase anymore. Magnus wanted Alec to know how much he meant to him. It still surprised him that he was so attached to the boy. The idea of Alec constantly fighting himself and his feelings ate up Magnus's soul. And yet, he had to believe in him to overcome his inner battles. He needed to believe that soon Alec would come back to him. Otherwise, Magnus would go insane.

_My fate is in your hands, Alexander Lightwood._


	7. No Hope For The Wicked

Valentine's Shadowhunters were packing. Jace didn't understand why, though – they'd just arrived a day ago. Why were they moving again?

He stepped in front of Valentine just as he finished a phone call.

"Where are we going?" Jace asked looking Valentine right in the eye.

"Our plans just accelerated," Valentine said and tried to step away, but Jace didn't let him. He blocked Valentine firmly with his arm and looked at him with what he hoped to be an intimidating look.

"What plans? You've gotta start telling me things. I'm not going to follow you around blindly forever. Where are we going and _why_? I want answers," He demanded.

It had only been three days, but he was so tired of Valentine hiding everything from him. He thought his father would start sharing things with him at this point, since he wanted him on his side. Jace felt useless and completely disposable. He hated feeling that way, especially around his father – for whom he still had some hope.

"Well…" Valentine said as he looked up at something behind Jace and smiled. "This might just be your lucky day, Jonathan."

Jace turned around confused and what he saw nearly made him faint. Alec approached them escorted by three of Valentine's shadowhunters, two on his sides and one behind him. He didn't seem hurt, which was a relief, but Jace's gut still twitched in despair.

"Alec?" He asked in complete shock.

"Jace!" He saw a smile light up on Alec's face as he ran to his parabatai and squeezed him into a hug. Jace's state of shock didn't allow him to hug back. After a few seconds, Jace finally recovered some of his senses and pushed Alec away.

"What are you doing here?" he asked fearfully.

"I got your text," Alec said too calmly for Jace's taste.

"My _text?_ I didn't send you any texts." Jace shook his head.

"Yeah, I figured that out." Alec took a step back and looked away to observe the shadowhunters around them.

Jace glared at Valentine, who was watching them as someone would watch an interesting play.

"Alec, that text was a trap," he said turning back to Alec.

"Yeah, I know." Alec didn't show the slightest sign of surprise which made Jace panic even more.

"Wait, you _knew_ it was a trap and you just walked into it anyway?" He couldn't believe this. Surely Alec wouldn't do something so stupid… It couldn't be. But his guilty face said otherwise. "What the hell were you thinking!?" he lashed out.

"I… wanted to see you," Alec said awkwardly. Clearly he wasn't expecting Jace to react that way.

 _Oh, God…._ _Please, tell me this is just a nightmare._ Jace wasn't expecting this behaviour from his parabatai. He couldn't breathe for a couple of seconds and closed his eyes to avoid facing Alec's guilty look. He couldn't believe this was happening. Alec just made things easier for Valentine. Jace felt like the floor was slowly disappearing from under his feet.

"Dammit, Alec! You really should have stayed put!" That was all he could say. He finally faced Alec, but couldn't read him properly. His parabatai looked confused and… maybe a bit disappointed too.

"Why? I don't get it." Then turning to Valentine he added "What do you want from me? Don't you have enough shadowhunters to fight for you? You can't make me do that."

Valentine stepped forward between them and faced Alec. Everyone could feel the tension forming between them.

"Yes, I do have enough shadowhunters for now," Valentine said. "That's not why I need you. In fact, I don't need you at all. But you're going to help me get what I want."

"And that would be…" Alec said uninterested.

"Magnus Bane." Valentine stuck those words on Alec like sticking a knife right in his heart.

It took a few seconds for those words to sink in. By the look on Alec's face it was clear that this possibility haven't even crossed his mind.

"What?" he asked unbelieving and felt his body freeze.

"He wants to kill Magnus, Alec," Jace said as calmly as possible. He wouldn't allow Valentine to make this harder than it already was.

"And you will help me lure him out," Valentine added with a satisfied smile that made Jace want to break his face.

Alec switched looks between Valentine and Alec, like he was waiting for one of them to say it was all a lie. He desperately needed this to be a lie. He stared at Jace for reassurance, but all he could see in his brother's eyes was fear and pity. Alec understood why Jace was so angry at him showing up and understood that his parabatai couldn't help him out this time.

Alec tried to think of something useful. He couldn't just let Valentine succeed at this. He wouldn't put Magnus in danger. He couldn't let his nightmare come true.

"Umm… and you think he's gonna come rescue me because… because… why exactly?" he asked Valentine.

"I know he'd shown some clear signs of affection for you at your own wedding. Do you deny that?" Valentine watched Alec intensely.

"What, _that?_ " Alec saw an opportunity there. "Oh no, come on… You think that meant something?" He tried to sound as convincing as he could, but Jace's desperate expression wasn't helping him, so he forced himself to face Valentine.

"Magnus Bane… he doesn't care about me. It's all just a big game for him." He emphasized his word with a careless shrug. "Everyone knows he's a big drama queen, he just loves to show up where he doesn't belong and make a scene." Despite saying those words Alec knew they weren't true. This was definitely not just a game for Magnus, Alec knew by remembering the way he kissed him. "Your plan is not going to work. He won't risk his life for me," He added and stared back at Valentine.

But as Alec said that, another memory from before the wedding hit him. Remembering Magnus's words after he got injured by the Foresaken attack to the Institute – _If anything were to happen to you…_ and that beautiful face full of concern made Alec lose his breath.

 _No. Please, Magnus just don't._ He prayed silently as Valentine took a step forward to him.

"Not even you believe that, son," He said that in a nice-try-but-you-can't-fool-me way.

Realizing that they were losing the battle, Jace walked to Valentine determined to save his best friend.

"Look, I know things are not exactly fine between us and I can work on that. Just please, let Alec go." Jace still had hope for his father. He didn't want to give up on him, he wanted this relationship to work. Valentine did raise him after all. Maybe they were supposed to be together, work together. Maybe Jace could show Valentine that he didn't have to go through with this senseless war. He wanted him to be a better man, someone he could proudly call his father. He was placing all his faith in him as he tried to persuade him to free Alec.

Valentine looked slightly interested in what Jace had to say, which gave him a bit more courage.

"I will do whatever you want," he continued. "You want me to fight by your side against the Clave? I will do that. I will help you destroy them without questioning you, I promise. I will do _anything._ Just don't hurt Alec. I'm begging you, father. Just let him go," He said desperately.

He meant every word. He would do anything for Alec – even sell his soul to the Devil if he had to. This was the first time Jace called Valentine his father and he hoped it would touch him enough to honor his wish. Jace hoped it would make him realize how much he's counting on him, how much he wants to believe in him. All Jace could do now was hope for the best.

Both Valentine and Alec rested their eyes on him for a long time before anyone spoke again. Alec was surprised by Jace's declaration. He was grateful for his words, he knew he meant them, because he would have done the same thing for Jace. But he also felt a hint of guilt on his shoulders; he didn't want his parabatai to turn into something he's not because of him. He hated how this situation was going. He looked at Valentine nervously.

"I'm impressed, Jonathan," Valentine said finally. "I am truly touched by your love for your parabatai." He was genuinely surprised by it, actually. "But I can't allow you or anyone else to ruin my plans." He shook his head.

"Even if Magnus did come here, don't think he and the entire New York Institute will come without a plan! I _guarantee_ you they will find a way to end you." Jace wasn't going to just give up like that.

"I'm sure they would. If only they had the time to plan it," Valentine said and took something out of his pocket as he took a step to Alec, who was paying attention to Jace and didn't see him point a syringe filled with a dark liquid towards him. By the time he and Jace realized what he was doing it was too late.

It happened so fast. One second Valentine was just responding to Jace and the next he was sticking the syringe in Alec's neck. Alec had no time to react. Valentine injected the liquid into his neck before Jace could jump there.

" _NO!"_ Jace yelled and ran to Alec just in time to catch him. Jace laid him on the floor, knelt down next to him and gently held his face. Alec was unconscious.  
  
"Alec… Alec, wake up." Jace called him repeatedly, but it was pointless.  
 _"What did you do to him?!"_ he yelled at Valentine at the top of his lungs. His words echoed through the almost empty warehouse. He hated Valentine so much in this moment like he never hated anyone before. And he didn't even realize that tears were falling down his cheek.

"A little demon blood," Valentine said so casually as if Jace asked him what time it was. "He's not dead, don't worry. At least not yet. It wasn't a pure sample of demon blood. So it will react slowly. Now, I have an antidote." As he said that he took out a glass tube containing a brown liquid from his jacket. "I will give him this, if you get me Magnus Bane. But you should hurry, I don't think he will make it for more than 24 hours… And that's my best guess," he said and put the antidote back in his pocket.

"What!? You _guess!?"_ Jace asked wrathfully.

"Well, I never tested this on a shadowhunter before, so I can't really be sure."

"You're _sick!"_ Jace said still holding onto Alec. Tears didn't stop falling from his eyes. "You don't care about anyone. Not even your own son. You deserve to go to _hell!_ "

He finally understood. Valentine was a psychopath. He didn't care about people at all. He could poison you as easily as calling you his son. And if he could do this to his own son, if he could betray and hurt him like that then Jace didn't even want to imagine what he could do to others. There was no hope for him. He saw that clearly now.

"I wouldn't waste any more time if I were you. Go. Hurry. And don't come back without the warlock."

Jace was panting. He looked up at Valentine heartbroken. He laid down Alec's head on the floor and kissed his forehead. _I'm coming back for you, brother,_ he thought and stood up. He gave Valentine one final glare before running out of the warehouse.


	8. Risking Your Life for a Shadowhunter – Part One

**_"_ ** **_Are you really going to risk your life for a Shadowhunter?" – Magnus Bane from Shadowhunters episode 1x02_ **

* * *

 

Jace arrived at the Institute after driving for two and a half hours straight from Boston. He had lost his stele to Valentine, so he had to steal a car the old fashioned way. He had pushed the gas pedal all the way down and drove like a lunatic until he got there. He tried calling Izzy, but she didn't pick up and he thought it was best to share the terrible news personally.

He rushed into the Institute. He was exhausted since he hadn't slept all night, but he didn't care. He wouldn't rest until he got Alec back.

It was breakfast time, so he went straight to the kitchen hoping he'd find Isabelle there.

"Izzy!" he shouted as he entered the kitchen. But he only found Clary, Luke and Jocelyn setting the table. They all froze for a slight second and then Clary's eyes lit up seeing Jace and she ran to hug him.

"Jace!" she yelled in excitement and wrapped her arms around him.

"Clary." Jace was glad to see her, but he had to keep focused. He pushed her away and asked "Where's Izzy?"

"Jonathan…" Jocelyn spoke up with her voice shaking slightly and took a step towards him. There was an awkward moment of silence, and before she could say anything else, Jace put his hand up defensively.

"I don't have time for this," he said barely looking at Jocelyn. He _really_ didn't want to deal with this right now.

"Wait a second." Luke stepped forward and pulled Clary away from Jace protectively. "Is this really you? How do we know this isn't just a trick from Valentine?"

 _Seriously!?_ Jace couldn't believe this.

"Of course it's me! Who the hell else would I be?" He took a deep breath. "We don't have time for this. Alec is in danger! Where is Izzy?"

"What?" Isabelle slipped into the kitchen silently. Even though it was only nine in the morning, she was already dressed up with a simple black top, black jeans and boots. Everyone turned to her.

"Jace? What's wrong with Alec?" She didn't even seem surprised about Jace's presence, but she was already afraid of the answer.

"Izzy…" Jace looked at her like the world was about to end. "Valentine has Alec."

Isabelle didn't say a word. Jace's face told her everything she needed to know, and she knew it was bad. She couldn't move. She heard a distant _"Oh, my God"_ slip out of Clary's mouth, but she wasn't paying attention. She couldn't believe that her brother was taken by that… that monster. It was like time froze for a couple of seconds leaving her and that sentence alone in the world. _Valentine has Alec._

And then Jace's voice cut through the ice. He had grabbed her arm firmly.

"Izzy!" He was almost yelling at her. "We have to go to Magnus's. Right now!"

Isabelle nodded and dragged herself out of the kitchen to follow Jace.

* * *

* * *

_Ugh. Who dares to disturb my perfect, self-destructive day drinking?_

Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He hated being disturbed on a quiet day with the company of fine wine and purple margaritas, and the loud banging on his door was only getting more insistent the more he ignored it.

"Open the damn door, Magnus!" someone yelled loudly.

 _Oh, this is wonderful._ Magnus sighed and, with a glass of wine in his hand, walked to the door ready to send whoever was behind it to hell. He was wearing a simple royal blue silk shirt and black pants, with minimal make-up on. He wasn't planning on seeing people today. The only person he wanted to see was Alexander, but he had a feeling that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. So he could just as well spend the day getting drunk. Very drunk.

The banging didn't stop until the second he finally opened the door. Magnus opened his mouth, ready to deliver some harsh words when he saw who was standing in front of him. A very disturbed Isabelle and an equally anxious Jace.

Magnus looked at Jace not believing his eyes.

"You…" he started, but was too confused to say the rest of the sentence out loud. _You are not supposed to be here,_ he thought, and as he took a look at Isabelle, he knew something was wrong.

"Yes, me," Jace said annoyed as he let himself into Magnus's loft. Magnus followed him still confused with a creeping sense of anxiety. Isabelle joined them without a word.

"I have bad news," Jace started, his voice hoarse, eyes desperate. Magnus didn't know him that well, but seeing him talk like that, sent waves of fear up Magnus's spine. "Valentine has Alec. He injected him with demon blood."

The glass of wine crashed and broke on the floor as Magnus felt his limbs go numb. His eyes went wide open and he stopped breathing. He knew demon blood was lethal to shadowhunters – it killed them instantly. This couldn't be happening. Not with his Alexander, not after how they parted… _No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no._

"He's not dead. It was some sort of a diluted version," Jace continued and Magnus felt a tiny drop of relief, but that wasn't enough for him. He looked at Jace with such despair… he needed to know more. _Tell me he's okay. Tell me he's okay. Tell me he's okay,_ he begged silently.

"But he's dying. And Valentine won't give him the antidote unless you go to him," Jace finished.

Magnus couldn't move; he was paralyzed by fear. How could someone do something so horrible to his sweet Alexander? How could anyone hurt him? But of course, this wasn't anyone; this was Valentine with all his hatred, cruelty, madness and his complete lack of empathy.

Magnus wasn't looking at Jace anymore. He was staring into nothing as he felt rage take over him like it hadn't for many years. The mixture of dread, panic and fury was so suffocating that he was shaking and sending off blue and yellow magic sparks from the tip of his fingers.

"Magnus." Jace grabbed his arm to pull him back. The sparking stopped as Magnus focused on Jace's worried face again. "He wants to kill you."

 _That is the least of my worries,_ Magnus thought and shook Jace's hand off his arm.

He pointed his index and middle fingers at Jace as he whispered, "I need a minute." And he walked back to his room. He wanted to be out of the shadowhunters' sight. He needed to think. He pressed his back against the wall where nobody could see him and tried to catch his breath. He tried to keep it together, but thinking about a dying Alec only made his legs weaken and he found himself on the floor.

 _So this is how it's going to end._ _After all these centuries just crawling through life, waiting for something significant to happen, and when it finally did happen, when I finally found true love, it's all just going to end._

There was no chance Magnus was going to let Alec die. Nothing was more precious to him than Alec's life. He would give up his own life for him without thinking.

But that wouldn't be fair to Alec. He would spend the rest of his life blaming himself for his death, Magnus knew that. Alec cared too much about the ones around him and not enough about himself. And Magnus didn't want to be the cause of Alec's life-long misery.

No, Valentine was not going to win this fight. Magnus was determined not to give him what he wanted. He was going to rescue Alec. He was going to bring him home. And he was going to make Valentine regret he ever crossed him.

With thoughts of vengeance and determination, Magnus got up and prepared for battle.


	9. Risking Your Life for a Shadowhunter – Part Two

_"_ **_You can break my soul, take my life away, beat me, hurt me, kill me. But for the love of God, don't touch h i m." – from Tumblr by Unknown Author_ **

* * *

 

"A little overdressed for this, aren't you?" Jace provoked Magnus as they crossed the Institute's corridors, followed by Isabelle, Luke and half of his werewolf pack.

"Spare me your judgement, Mr. I'm-Better-Than-Anyone," Magnus snapped right back.

Isabelle sighed. If she weren't so damn nervous she would have chastised them like she'd do to some misbehaving kids. Emotions were high. After leaving the warlock's lair they decided to use a portal to get to Boston. Jace would lead them straight to the warehouse, and Luke had offered his and his pack's help with the mission, even though Magnus strongly objected to it.

He didn't want more people involved in this than it was necessary; he didn't want to create a blood bath. This was between him and Valentine; he should be the only one risking himself, not a pack of people who had family waiting at home.

Magnus had changed his clothes to a black shirt and a black blazer jacket with light silver markings drawn on it, wine colored pants, matching wine colored tie and black military boots. He had also put on some black glittery eye shadow with a snap of his fingers. Jace's opinion was that his change of clothes was completely unnecessary and time wasting, but Magnus's clothing had its purpose.

The blazer had been magically altered many years ago to contain a various amount of inner pockets, which he filled with all the magical objects he thought could be handy in case of a battle. Magnus wasn't facing Valentine unprepared.

They entered Jace's bedroom and Magnus set up the portal against the wall. Jace led them through and they landed on a street that ended in a field of grass and trees. There weren't any buildings or people around.

"This is the place, I swear," Jace said convincing the others and himself.

"It must be glam-" Isabelle started, but before she could finish her sentence, Magnus snapped his fingers, letting some blue sparks escape them, and the field of trees was replaced by the abandoned warehouse.

Magnus took the lead and everyone followed him to the main entrance which was locked. Magnus exploded it out of their way with a wave of his hand. Everyone could see how pissed he was.

"So, what's the plan?" Jace asked as they entered the building and he kept up with Magnus. The others were following them.

"Hmm?" Magnus pretended to be too distracted with where they were going to answer.

"Magnus, tell me you have a plan." Jace sounded a bit panicky.

"Oh, I have a plan. And you will stay out of it," was all Magnus said as they reached an open door in the middle of the corridor on the left which led them to the main hall.

It was empty, except for the people in it. Valentine and his crew were all standing in the middle of the room. Magnus was the first to reach them, stopping right in front of Valentine.

"Well, I believe we have a special guest, gentlemen," Valentine spoke to his shadowhunters. "I knew you wouldn't let me down, Jonathan," Valentine said facing Jace, who was standing next to Magnus looking at his father with rage.

Magnus counted twenty-two Shadowhunters including Valentine. They were outnumbered, but Magnus knew they could take them down. He also noticed a portal ready to be used on the wall behind Valentine's side of the room.

Magnus kept probing the room until his eyes fell on an unconscious Alec, laid down on the floor at the left side of the room, guarded by a shadowhunter. Magnus's face twitched in pain when he saw him like that and he felt his heart sinking down his body.

"Alec!" Isabelle shouted her brother's name and ran towards him, but when she was only a few steps away, she was hit back by some sort of barrier.

"What the hell…" she mumbled confused.

Seeing this, Magnus raised his hand and sent out some blue flames in Valentine's direction, but there was an invisible wall blocking his magic from him.

"Magic and intruder blockade. Interesting. Not unexpected, though," Magnus said facing Valentine with a deadly glare. There was no sign of the kind, playful Magnus they all knew. That Magnus was buried deep and he wouldn't come back to the surface until Alec was safe again.

"You will regret this," he threatened Valentine. "Most people know not to mess with a High Warlock. Well, the smart ones do," he added mischievously.

"You don't frighten me, warlock," Valentine said in a carefree manner.

 _Maybe he should. I would be frightened if he looked at me like that,_ Isabelle thought as she was watching them scared to death of what would happen next.

The werewolves positioned themselves behind Magnus and Jace ready to jump at the enemy's slightest move.

"Oh, you didn't have to bring _them,"_ Valentine said as he gave Luke a disdained look. "I was hoping we could settle this peacefully."

Luke's, Isabelle's and Jace's faces told him they weren't giving him that.

"Let's get this over with, shall we," Magnus continued and it was obvious he could barely hold himself back from attacking Valentine with all his fury. "You give us Alec and you can have me."

Internally, Magnus was gathering up all the energy he could to strike on Valentine, break the blockage that was separating them and also protect Alec, all at the same time. He knew he could break the barrier, but it would take a lot from him and Alec's safety might not be guaranteed. What if he wasn't fast enough? It would be a very risky move. He rubbed his fingers against each other in pure anxiety.

"No deal," Valentine answered with a smirk. "You didn't really think that I was going to just hand him over?"

"For you own good, I was hoping you would," Magnus threatened him. But Valentine didn't even flinch. Magnus let out a frustrated sigh.

"Fine. Then step up and kill me. Run your blade through my heart. What are you waiting for?" Magnus hoped he wasn't too provoking. He was waiting for Valentine to take a step and then he was going to attack.

"Actually, I have a different kind of negotiation in mind." Valentine surprised everyone with that statement. Jace and Isabelle exchanged confused looks and Luke raised his eyebrow.

"So you're saying… You _don't_ want me dead?" Magnus did not see that coming. The shock made him loose some of the energy he's been building up inside.

"Oh, I want you dead just like I want all the Downworlders dead. But your death can wait." Valentine took out a piece of paper out of his jacket. Magnus, Isabelle, Jace, Luke and the werewolves watched him with intrigue.

"For now, I would like to make a contract with you," he said folding down the paper. "You will offer me your magical services in exchange of Alexander's life."

Magnus's jaw tightened at hearing Alexander's name coming out of that monster's mouth.

 _You did not just say his name… you do NOT get to say his precious name, you piece of trash._ Magnus felt the thought burn him up like fire, but he needed to control himself. He had to focus now more than ever. He took a deep breath.

"And what kind of magical services would those be?" he asked keeping his voice low and neutral.

"You will find out as soon as we cross that portal," Valentine said pointing to the portal behind him with his thumb.

"Magnus, _no,"_ Jace objected firmly. "This is a trap. It has to be."

Valentine looked at Jace hurt, like he betrayed him.

"Why the hell should we trust you?" Jace snapped at him.

"I am many things, Jonathan, but a liar isn't one of them. A deal is a deal and I stick to my word." To prove his words, Valentine took out a small knife and a pen from his pocket and made a small cut on the palm of his hand. He ran the pen across the cut making his blood be the ink, and then signed the contract.

Then he walked over to Alec, took a pocketknife from the shadowhunter by his side, took Alec's hand and repeated the process. He dropped some of Alec's blood on the contract.

Magnus felt his body tense even more as he saw that. Now he had a good guess about what Valentine was really proposing… And he didn't like it at all.

Valentine walked back to Magnus and handed him the signed contract.

"As you can see, the terms include you attending all my wishes that require your magic and they also prohibit you from harming me in any way. Sign it and I will give Alec the antidote and he will be free to go with his family."

"Why did you put Alec's blood on it?" Jace asked after snatching the contract out of Magnus's hand to take a look at it.

"For insurance," Valentine said without taking his eyes off of Magnus. "If you, for some reason, decide to break any of these terms before finishing the job I have for you… Your boy will suffer the consequences."

Magnus pulled the contract back from Jace and stared at it for some long seconds. Magical contracts signed with blood were very powerful and once he signed it he'd be obligated to fulfill Valentine's orders without exceptions. If he refused, Alec would die.

With a snap of Magnus's fingers a pen materialized in front of him and he used magic to cut through his hand's skin. He dipped the pen in his blood and looked up at Valentine.

"You heal him first and I'll sign," he said thinking this was his last chance to fight back.

But Valentine was no fool. "You sign it or let him die. I can get another warlock to do this for me, eventually. But there's only one of Alec, isn't there?"

"Wait," Isabelle interrupted them. All eyes turned to her. "How do we even know he's still alive? You could be just fooling us," she said with forced determination. She's been staring at Alec for the last couple of minutes and the way he laid motionless scared her even more.

It made Magnus mad when he realized he'd been so overpowered with fear he hadn't even considered this possibility. _God bless Isabelle for using her brain,_ he thought.

Valentine nodded to the shadowhunter next to Alec, so he grabbed Isabelle's arm and pulled her to their side. He pushed her hard to the ground and Isabelle fell on her knees, but she ignored the pain and crawled to her brother.

"Alec…" she whispered desperately as she pressed her fingers on his neck to check his pulse. He was so cold and pale that the terrible thought of them being too late crossed her mind. Then she felt a very weak pulse that made her sigh in relief.

"He's alive, but barely," she announced and held her brother close to herself protectively.

While Valentine waited, Jace was thinking of some alternative solution. Losing Magnus wasn't how he wanted to get Alec back; he knew his brother would take it badly. But he couldn't think of anything useful. Valentine had clearly made up his mind and wouldn't back off from his plans.

Similar thoughts were going through Magnus's head. But he was determined to do whatever it took to save Alec. He could think about escaping from Valentine later. He had the time. All that mattered now was Alec.

He accepted the defeat, took a deep breath and signed the contract. Valentine took it back with a satisfied smile. Magnus had never felt so eager to destroy someone in his entire life.

Jace closed his eyes and shook his head. Magnus didn't let his eyes off Valentine. Now he had to do his part. And Valentine did. He turned to the shadowhunter behind him, and took a syringe out of the box he was holding. The syringe was full of a brown liquid that Jace recognized immediately as the antidote.

Both Magnus and Jace were holding their breaths as Valentine walked to Alec in an agonizingly slow manner. He crouched down next to him, looked at Isabelle who was pressing Alec tight to her chest and raised his eyebrow. She loosened her grip around Alec a bit, giving Valentine a look of pure hatred and let him get closer.

Valentine stuck the syringe in Alec's neck, injected the antidote, then stood up and walked back to Magnus. Nothing happened for a few seconds and Magnus started to feel the heat of desperation and anger in him. His eyes glowed with yellow and he was shaking when Alec finally moved.

"Alec… can you hear me?" Isabelle asked desperately and held his face towards her. Alec opened his eyes slowly then they closed again. Isabelle wasn't sure he saw her, so she called his name again.

"Alec, look at me," she insisted and Alec opened his eyes a bit wider this time.

"Izzy?" he whispered to her. He didn't have the strength to speak up, but Izzy was so happy to see him better that she smiled and tears of relief were running down her cheeks. She hugged him and he tried to sit up.

"Where are we? What's happening?" Alec asked with his voice slowly returning to him. She held his back to help him sit up and Magnus looked away. Now that Alec was getting better he didn't dare to look.

If he looked at Alec just for a second, he would have failed. He would have run to him, hugged him and kissed him like Alec never knew he could. He wanted to do all that and he wanted to take him home. But he couldn't. There was nothing he could do now that he had signed Valentine's contract. So he forced himself not to look. It was easier that way.

Valentine stepped in front of him. He pressed his hand against the invisible barrier and, with a gentle breeze, it was gone.

"After you," he said and showed the way to the portal with his hands. The shadowhunters were already leaving through it.

Jace stepped up between Magnus and Valentine saying "I'll go with you. You shouldn't face this alone."

But Magnus stopped him pushing him back with the back of his hand.

"No. You stay. Alec needs you," he said quietly, fighting off his tears.

Isabelle watched and she knew how much those selfless words hurt Magnus.

Alec looked around and noticed Magnus, Jace and Valentine.

"Magnus?" he said in a way that broke Magnus's heart. He strongly avoided looking in Alec's direction and started walking to the portal.

Alec realized what was happening and fought Isabelle to get out of her hold.

"Alec, stop!" she said and held him firmly.

"No! Izzy, let me go… do something!" Alec managed to stand up with some difficulty, but he was still not strong enough to get out of Isabelle's firm grip. He struggled against Isabelle and watched as Valentine held onto Magnus's arm and they stepped into the portal without looking back.

Isabelle only let Alec go when the portal closed behind Valentine and Magnus. He took a few unstable steps towards the wall that had sucked the portal in and Jace followed him.

"Alec, take it easy, buddy." Jace was concerned about his brother.

"No. Magnus…" Alec whispered to himself and went out of air. Nothing mattered. Magnus was gone. Valentine took him away. His nightmare came true.

_Magnus is gone._

The weight of Alec's loss mixed with the weakness caused by the demon blood crushed him. He didn't have enough strength to keep going. He didn't even want to keep going.

_Magnus is gone._

That thought echoed in his mind like torture. He closed his eyes and hoped that when he opened them again, Magnus would be standing in front of him.

But when he reopened his eyes, instead of having Magnus back, everything Alec looked at became blurry and he felt his legs go numb. He was falling down and Jace caught him just before he collapsed on the floor.


	10. The Devil's Plan

As soon as they landed and the portal vanished behind them, Magnus extended his arm and snapped his fingers to perform a locator spell. Nothing happened. Magnus waved his hand and still nothing. He felt panic take over him.

"That's not going to work here." Magnus heard Valentine's sly voice. Magnus let his arm drop and turned to Valentine.

"Why did you bring me to this…." He looked around the tall, dark rocky hall to define the place better "…this godforsaken _hell hole_ , if I can't use my magic?" he asked infuriated

"You can use your magic. Just not here," Valentine replied coldly. "We've made a great deal of effort to prepare this place for you."

Magnus understood what he was saying. They had used demon energy to block his magic. Some demons had the ability to isolate an area from magic. Only a handful of demons could do such a thing, a handful of very powerful demons and the fact that Valentine had gone through such extreme measures to get him there told Magnus that he was dead serious about whatever he wanted him to do for him.

Magnus took a better look at the place. The rocky walls were irregular and quite tall and the air was dense. There were no windows, so Magnus had no idea whether it was day or night. The hall was lit by some torches hanging on the walls. The whole place was just depressing and the fire light gave it a gloomy effect. No one else was around. Magnus felt like he was in a crypt. He pointed up at the ceiling.

"Are we underground?" he grimaced in frustration. They could be anywhere in the world, but he figured they must be in some sort of cave. Magnus hated caves. They made him feel like a prisoner.

_Oh, the irony of that… Don't you just love being an actual prisoner in a cave, Magnus?_

"It doesn't matter where we are. Now follow me," Valentine said as he turned into a corridor that, up until now, had gone unnoticed by Magnus.

They walked into a larger hall, just as gloomy as the one they arrived in, only this one was filled with Shadowhunters. This hall seemed to be the headquarters to Valentine's army. As they passed through, unfriendly looks were directed at Magnus. He avoided eye contact as much as he could, but there were too many of them so he tried giving out a shy smile every now and then. But that wasn't helping. Most Shadowhunters just looked cold and unapproachable, but more than a few looked at him either with repugnance or pure hatred.

 _Boy, this is going to be fun,_ Magnus thought bitterly as he followed Valentine through the crowd.

"That's an awful lot of Shadowhunters," Magnus allowed himself to comment once they reached their destination – a private, but dark corner that led to another corridor.

"And there is more," Valentine replied and faced Magnus cockily.

"So what is it that you want from me exactly?" Magnus opened the game. He wanted to show strength. He noticed, with relief, that it was much easier to think now that Alec wasn't near him anymore. He had to keep his head together if he hoped to escape one day.

"I want you to create a portal big enough to contain every single member of the Downworld." Valentine was straight to the point.

"You want to send the Downworlders through a portal? That's your big plan?" Magnus wasn't sure this made any sense. "You know, there has to be _something_ behind a portal. Can't just send people into nothing." Magnus shook his hand to showcase his last phrase and raised an eyebrow.

"They are not people." He paused for a moment. "I'm sorry, I meant _you_ are not people," Valentine said with a smirk. "And I'm aware of that. Which is why I also need you to create a place for them to stay in. Something… agonizing for all of eternity."

"Well… if that's the case, I wish you had said that earlier. It could have saved us a lot of time and trouble. Because I can't help you," Magnus said angrily.

"I think you could at least try. I've heard such incredible things about you, Magnificent Bane. Especially, about how your father, being a Greater Demon, grants you special powers. Or is it all just lies?" Valentine said too smoothly for Magnus's taste. He definitely wasn't letting Magnus's anger get to him.

Magnus's father was a Greater Demon, which did make him more powerful than most warlocks. And while in any other situation he would have been flattered to be called 'Magnificent Bane', hearing it from Valentine just made him sick and furious.

"At _best_ , I can create portals to places I know that exist. I can't make up a whole new dimension of hell! You need a demon for that," Magnus spat the words out to Valentine. He was really getting mad now.

"I could never trust demons with something so important. I need this portal to be one way only. Get the Downworlders in… "He paused, smirking. "…and close it forever."

 _And who said you can trust me?_ Magnus tried to clear his head of the angry thoughts and took a deep breath before answering.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you. I'm just one _very humble_ half-demon. I'm afraid what you have in mind is... beyond me." He gave a little bow at the last two words.

"I'm just not powerful enough," Magnus said calmly like he was explaining how to tie shoelaces to a five year-old.

"I suspected you would say that," Valentine said after a few seconds of silence. "So we prepared a little… _treat_ for you. Something to strengthen your powers."

Valentine nodded to the end of the corridor and started walking, gesturing Magnus to follow him without bothering to look at him.

 _I do not like the sound of that,_ Magnus thought apprehensively as he followed Valentine through the corridor.

Entering the room at the end of the corridor, Magnus's eyes fell on a rather disturbing scene. There was a considerably large pentagram drawn on the surprisingly flat floor, with four Downworlders and a Shadowhunter chained by the leg at each point of it. The Downworlders consisted of a werewolf, a vampire, a faerie and a young female warlock he remembered helping years ago. The Shadowhunter was Hodge Starkweather. The werewolf was apparently unconscious, but the rest of them blearily raised their eyes at Magnus in surprise. None of them were expecting to see him here.

As Magnus observed the scene, a terrible sensation creeped up on him like poison. He knew what Valentine wanted him to do. But he couldn't do it. He wasn't capable of doing something so evil. He got goose bumps from fear as he turned to Valentine.

 _"_ _No,"_ he objected, his voice not as firm as he had planned.

"You said it yourself. You don't have enough power to create that portal for me. So this is your chance to get more power," Valentine said a matter-of-fact tone.

"I am _not_ going to assassinate innocent people!" Magnus fumed at Valentine.

"Well, the choice is yours, of course. But remember, if you refuse to do this you'll be breaking our contract. You wouldn't want to sacrifice you beloved Alec's life just after saving him, would you?" Valentine said with a sly smile.

"Let me try first," Magnus said with despair dripping from his voice. "If it doesn't work, we'll do it your way." He slowed down and took a deep breath. "Maybe I underestimated myself. There's a first time for everything." Magnus forced a smile on his face hoping he could convince Valentine.

"No. You can live with your morals intact or with the knowledge that the person you love survives. But you can't have both," Valentine answered harshly.

Magnus's weak smile died hearing those words. He let his guard down for the first time since he'd followed Valentine through the portal and a shiver of fear took over his body. Magnus had never used his magic for such a terrible purpose. Taking away people's lives and using their souls to create more magic was an abominable act and he wanted no part in it. But he couldn't let Alec pay the price for his morality either. This was a terrible, terrible choice.

"You can't do this to us," Hodge whispered suddenly. He was in a terrible state, he was barely standing, his clothes were dirty like he had been in them for weeks, and the wound where his hand was cut off looked infected. The dim light gave the scenery an especially gloomy touch, and Magnus averted his eyes.

"Oh, Hodge." Valentine walked around the circle of prisoners as he spoke. "You know you would have spent the rest of your life in prison for betraying the Clave. That would have been _such_ a waste… At least your life will serve a higher purpose now," Valentine said as he completed the circle and got back to Magnus.

"Magnus…" the warlock woman begged, "Please, help us."

Magnus closed his eyes in despair. He begged the Universe to help him out, to do something, anything to avoid this. He did not want to kill those people. When he signed the contract he knew Valentine wouldn't ask him to summon any fluffy unicorns, but he didn't expect being forced to hurt people.

He took a deep breath and thought of Alec and how he wanted to go back to him. Life was so unfair, separating them before they even had the chance to be happy together. Magnus knew it couldn't simply end here. He needed to go back to Alec and let them take their chance at happiness, because they both deserved it.

Magnus opened his eyes as he finally gathered up the courage he needed.

 _I'm so sorry,_ he thought as he lit up a blue magic ball in his hand and watched it slowly turn to purple and then gradually intensify to bright red. His magic worked just fine in here. He channeled his inner demon, despite how much he hated doing it. As he looked up at the terrified prisoners with glowing yellow eyes, the warlock woman let out a hopeless scream and Magnus lashed out at her first, out of mercy, so she wouldn't have to witness him kill the others.

He took them out one by one and a piece of him died with each life he took. He knew he would have to live with their screams in his head forever. He stored up their souls in his demon part, knowing that his own soul would never be the same again.

Magnus hated Valentine for making him do this, this horrendous crime, and he swore he would take his revenge by any means necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this far! Really appreciate the kudos and comments. :) It's going to be a 20 - 21 chapter story, so we're right in the middle of it now. Please, let me know what you think, feedback is priceless!


	11. A Glimpse of Hope

"Not this again, Alec," Jace said shaking his head as Alec approached him holding a silver tie. Magnus's tie.

Alec had gone over to Magnus's loft as soon as he felt well enough to leave the Institute alone. He just wanted to feel Magnus's presence, but it wasn't easy. Nothing could make up for Magnus's absence and his loft had felt less warm and welcoming without him there. It was the first time he'd gone into his room and he had felt tense the whole time he was there. He didn't want to go through his stuff, that wouldn't have felt right, but the tie was just laying on the bed, like it was abandoned in a hurry, and Alec knew why. Magnus had left that tie on the bed and the tie drawer open, because he was in a hurry to save him. Alec had felt a lump in his throat as he grabbed the tie and held on to it like an amulet ever since. It was all he had left of Magnus. He had brought it back to the Institute and asked Jace to help him track Magnus with it.

Jace was not much of a help, though.

"We've discussed this, Alec. We can't track Magnus down." He was getting tired of this subject.

"Yes, we can. You just don't want to." Alec let his disappointment show, hoping to guilt Jace into it.

" _No._ It's pointless and you know it. So what if we know where Magnus is? It's not like we can barge in and get him out of there. He can't leave until he's finished whatever Valentine wants him to do," Jace argued. "Besides, you're not even strong enough."

"That's not true," Alec insisted. Even though he denied it, he knew what Jace was referring to. He hadn't been taking care of himself properly to recover from the demon blood. He was having trouble sleeping and pretty much never had an appetite, along with the constant headaches.

"Why won't you just help me, huh? You swore that you would always be here for me." Alec let the desperation leak into his voice, trying to make Jace change his mind about this. But that wasn't working.

"I am, Alec. You're just not seeing it." Jace looked at him pityingly, which Alec hated.

Alec didn't get the chance to reply to that, because his mother joined them wearing her Shadowhunter gear. He hastily stuffed Magnus's tie in his pocket before she could see it.

"Alec. Jace,"she greeted them formally.

"What is it now, mother?" Alec crossed his arms and stared at the floor. He was so not interested in hearing what his mother had to say. His parents had been staying at the Institute since the day they brought him back from Valentine, seven days ago, and she had been following his every move like some lost puppy. Alec was losing his patience with her.

"You know, that attitude is not helping anyone, Alec," she scolded him. "The Clave wants to know why the New York Institute is not taking more steps against the growing demon attacks in the city."

Alec didn't know what to say. It was true, there had been more demon attacks on the mundane world than in a long time and it was all thanks to Valentine, but there was a part of him that didn't care.

"Alec, you need to get yourself together. This pining over the warlock has to stop. There are more important things that need to be handled," His mother said sharply.

"More important things?" Alec asked, finally looking up at her. "I'm not interested in more important things, mom. Magnus saved my life. But you don't care, do you? To you he's worthless like all Downworlders. You're no different from the Circle. You might as well just go back to Valentine," He spat, enjoying the hurt that momentarily flashed across his mother's eyes.

"Alexander..." Maryse was too shocked at Alec's words. "How can you say that? After what he did to you…"

"Oh, like you care," Alec interrupted her angrily. "You don't care about me, you just don't want to let the Clave down. Again."

Alec was sensing some concern coming from Jace, despite his face staying a controlled smooth mask, but he didn't care. Isabelle and their father just joined them and she didn't look very happy about this conversation either.

"Alexander, you watch your tongue," Maryse reprimanded him.

"Or what? You'll ground me? I'm not a kid anymore, mom. You can't make me do whatever you want me to do," he said firmly. He had decided not to let his mother get any say in his decisions, personal or professional. Through Magnus, he had learned how to do what was in his heart and he wasn't backing off now.

"You know what? You're right. The Institute has to step up and fight those demons. I admit I haven't been very responsible about this situation," Alec admitted. There was a pause as everyone stared at him in confusion.

"So why don't you take care of it?" Alec was talking not only to his mother now, but to everyone present. "I have no interest in hunting demons right now. I don't want to deal with it." Alec watched the shock paralyze everyone who had heard him.

Maryse looked at him like he'd lost his mind. Jace looked very concerned. Izzy gasped and raised her eyebrow at him in an 'I'll support you, but you better have a very good reason for this' way, and his father let out a sigh.

"I think you should let Izzy lead the attacks," he said as he turned to his sister. "She's more than capable of handling this. But I'm done." And with that, Alec stepped away from his perplexed family and went straight to his room.

But he didn't get to be alone for too long. Isabelle followed him and closed the door behind her. She was wearing a sleeveless black dress with lace running from her neckline up to a high collar around her neck, with high heeled black boots, and she had her hair in an intricate one-sided braid. Even in the middle of a crisis she looked flawless. Not that Alec appreciated that at that particular moment.

"What do you want? Don't you have work to do?" He said, unable to look at her. He was so nervous he couldn't stay still in one place, so he walked back and forth kneading his hands together. Part of him couldn't believe what he'd just done.

"That can wait," Isabelle said patiently. She waited for Alec to calm down and face her, but she soon realized that that wasn't happening. She sighed and called his name.

"Alec."

"What?" Alec turned to her finally. "Please, don't lecture me on what I just did, okay? I don't want to deal with this now, I don't want to go out and kill demons. I just can't handle it right now and I'm sick of people telling me what to do, so if you're…"

"Alec, stop," Isabelle interrupted her brother's frantic speech. She walked over to him and took his hands in hers. She looked up at his distressed face and squeezed his hands gently.

"It's okay. I understand," she said calmly, hoping to get Alec to calm down as well.

"I'm sorry, Izzy," Alec said hopelessly. His shoulders seemed to slump and he was close to bursting into tears.

"It's just… Nobody cares. Magnus is gone … and mom doesn't care and Jace won't help and… I'm just so _useless._ I don't know what to do and… It's all my fault."

Isabelle was heartbroken to see her brother so devastated. But she was also glad Alec was finally opening up to her. She had been desperately trying to get him to let his feelings out for so long, and she wanted to show him she was worthy of his trust.

"Come here," she said softly and pulled him down to the bed. She sat next to him not letting go of his hands.

"We care," she said choosing her words carefully. She didn't want to upset him anymore. "Jace is right, there is nothing he can do. You can't blame him for simply thinking rationally. And ignore what mom says. She doesn't understand what you're going through. But trust me, we all want Magnus back, and it's _not_ your fault, big brother." She wanted to be very clear about that.

But that was enough for Alec. He couldn't keep it together anymore. His big beautiful eyes filled up with tears and his face winced from pain.

"I'm the reason he's there, Izzy," he whispered helplessly.

"That doesn't mean it's your fault. If you want to blame someone, blame Valentine." Isabelle pronounced Valentine's name with such disgust it caught Alec by surprise. "He's the only one responsible for all of this."

"Valentine could be torturing him right now." Alec sounded terrified as tears began to pour down his face. He pulled his hands away from Isabelle's and buried his face in them, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"No, Alec, think." Isabelle got closer and touched Alec's shoulder.

"Valentine needs Magnus for his magic. He can't do any magic if he's hurt, can he?" Isabelle tried to sound as calm and logical as possible.

"I… I don't know…" Alec stuttered as he tried to stop the silent tears.

Isabelle leaned into him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder.

"I'm absolutely certain that Valentine won't hurt him as long as he needs him," she said soothingly. But she wasn't ready for Alec's next heartbreaking question.

"And what happens when… when he won't need him anymore?" Alec's voice was only a weak whisper now, Isabelle wouldn't have heard him had she not been sitting so close.

She didn't know how to answer that, so she just held him and rubbed his arm gently. Alec was as still as a statue now, staring into nothing with an empty expression. The thought of Magnus locked up in a cold, dirty cell all alone froze his heart. He was living a nightmare, and in that moment, Isabelle would have done anything to make Magnus appear in front of them.

"I was so stupid, Izzy…" He whispered after taking a deep breath. "If I didn't push him away, if I didn't just run away from him…"

"You can tell him that when he gets back, Alec. Because I know he will come back." Isabelle sounded pretty confident, even though she wasn't one hundred percent sure. She needed Alec to believe. And she hoped that at least some of that tension would get off his chest after this.

They sat there, Isabelle doing her best to comfort Alec, when someone knocked on the door. Alec showed no sign that he heard the knocking, so Isabelle got up to open the door and tell the intruder to piss off.

She hesitated when she saw the intruder was her father.

"Can I come in?" he asked Isabelle and Alec got off the bed and wiped his face with his hands when he heard his dad's voice. He definitely didn't want to be caught crying by his own father.

Isabelle let him in and closed the door behind him. Alec crossed his arms and faced his father with a firm neutral expression, but his red eyes gave him away.

"Listen, Alec…" Robert Lightwood was clearly very uncomfortable. He didn't know what to do with his hands, so he stuffed them in his pockets awkwardly. His children just stared at him startled. Robert took a deep breath to dissipate his anxiety.

"I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you for standing up against your mother like that," he said finally and looked up at Alec.

Surprised was an understatement to describe how that sentence made Alec and Isabelle feel. Robert felt the shock radiating in waves off his children.

"What?" Alec finally said something. He just stood there, his legs stuck to the floor. He blinked at his dad a couple of times to make sure this was real. Isabelle got between them, watching Alec worried.

"Yes… I know you're going through a difficult time right now. But you still stayed true to yourself. That shows your strength. And your mom just... Well, you really shouldn't listen to her. " Robert shook his head and looked away to hide his disappointment in Maryse.

"Okay," was all Alec managed to say after a very long moment of silence.

"And about Magnus…" Robert went on and Alec felt his face blush at the mention of Magnus's name. "As far as I remember, he's not a quitter. If anyone can escape from Valentine, it's him. So, I wouldn't worry that much about…"

"Okay, dad!" Isabelle interrupted him as she watched Alec's face turn tomato red, with his eyes wide open and his body language screaming _'kill me now'_ , so she took Robert by his shoulder and turned him away from Alec.

"Why don't we go and check on mom?" She asked her dad and pushed him gently out of the room. As she walked out with him, she turned back when her dad wasn't looking and mouthed a silent but excited ' _Oh my God!'_ to Alec, who just gave her a clueless shrug in response.

When Alec was finally left alone, he leaned against the wall, closed his eyes and sighed in relief. This had been such an intense week; especially today. So many unexpected things had happened, like him stepping away from the Shadowhunter business and allowing himself to deal with his emotions. But his dad defending him topped everything. Alec opened his eyes as a slow wave of joy and hope spread through his body. He took Magnus's tie out of his pocket.

 _Please, hold on and come back to me,_ he thought as he ran his thumb over the fabric hoping that Magnus would get his message.


	12. The Demon In Me

Magnus was running out of magic again. Every day, for the last nine days, they've made him work on that damn portal until he hit the point of exhaustion. He was doing his best, but that didn't seem to be enough. He had no idea how much longer it would take him to finish the job and the uncertainty only made it worse.

He couldn't stand being in the same room with Valentine after what he'd made him do. Thankfully, that didn't happen often. Valentine was busy creating new Shadowhunters and his dedication had certainly been rewarded – his army had grown to over 800 members by now. Valentine wasn't going to wait much longer to attack the Shadow World and Magnus knew he had to accelerate his work on the portal if he wanted to stop him.

And he wanted to stop him so badly. Magnus's blood was boiling with vengeance and at the end of each day, when he was locked up in his magic proofed cell, he couldn't stop thinking about ways of defeating him. The scheming was what kept him going day after day.

He did have one idea. A bold move that, if carried out successfully, could destroy everything Valentine had. But Magnus still had to finish the portal first.

He crashed on the floor and leaned on the rocky wall, breathing heavily as sweat ran down his forehead. He just needed to slow down for a minute, catch his breath…

"Day's not over yet, warlock," one of the Shadowhunters informed him sharply. Magnus closed his eyes to suppress the irritation he felt towards all the Shadowhunters who stood as guards while he worked. Valentine had made clear instructions about never leaving him alone while he was working in the only chamber in the labyrinth of caves where magic worked. It was small and tight, a bit claustrophobic, but after nine days Magnus got used to it. His clothes, on the other hand, were becoming filthy as layers of dirt accumulated on them. On his second day here, Valentine had offered him new and boring clothes which Magnus rejected saying that if he was going to die here, he will - at least - do it with style.

"You're lasting less and less every day." The Shadowhunter stepped closer and shook his head in disapproval. "I think Valentine should get rid of you already. You're useless."

"Why don't you tell him that then?" Magnus replied and used the wall behind him as support to get back on his feet. "I'm sure he can't wait to hear his most incompetent soldiers complain about his decisions," He teased the annoying Shadowhunter after facing him.

He saw rage join hatred on the Shadowhunter's face and before he could blink, Magnus felt something wet and thick cover his nose and lips. The Shadowhunter had spat on him.

"Okay. This is _not_ how I imagined getting Shadowhunter saliva on me." Magnus grimaced in disgust and wiped his face clean with his fingers.

 _Oh God, this blazer is ruined forever,_ he thought with a knot forming in his stomach as he wiped his fingers on its sleeve. He didn't dare to use magic to clean it up. He couldn't afford to waste any more of his precious energy.

The Shadowhunter just scowled at him and finally stepped away. The other eight Shadowhunters received him with high fives and pats on the shoulder for his undignified move. Magnus rolled his eyes and, now that he has recovered a bit of magic, turned back to work on the portal, which was only a fist sized blue ball floating a few inches above the ground. But the person standing next to the ball distracted him completely.

Ragnor Fell, holding a cup of tea so casually like he was just attending one of Magnus's fun tea parties.

 _Oh, for the love of the Angel… What is he doing here!?_  
  
"Go away," Magnus murmured so only Ragnor could hear him. "I can't waste my time on you!"

"It's nice to see you too, buddy!" Ragnor decided to ignore the hostility in Magnus's voice and smiled at him enthusiastically. "I thought you could use a friendly face around here," he said and took a sip of tea.

"Is that…" Magnus narrowed his eyes at the object Ragnor was holding.

"Your favorite cup of tea?" Ragnor finished his friend's question. "You bet it is! You never let me anywhere near it when I was alive, so obviously, I couldn't let this opportunity go to waste now that you can't stop me." He smiled at Magnus with mischief.

Magnus was left speechless for a moment. The last thing he expected to see here was his late best friend. Although, it made sense, since the last few days had been extremely stressful for him. But Magnus wanted him gone. He had to focus on his task if he hoped to finish it one day.

"Ragnor, my dear friend." Magnus put the palms of his hands together and tried to smile at his friend. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I've been wearing the same outfit for nine days in a row now, which makes me want to _scream my lungs out_." He raised his hands in despair at the last words, then put them back together as he continued. "So believe me when I say that you do _not_ want to mess with me now!" He gave Ragnor his crazy warlock look, his cat eyes wide open. Ragnor stared at him for a few seconds then gave him a careless shrug.

"Well, at least you haven't lost your sense of humor. You haven't gone _completely_ mad yet," Ragnor said lightly.

"You have to leave. You're distracting me," Magnus grumbled at him.

"Oh, I think you could use some distraction. In fact, I think it could do you good if you got a chance to talk to your beloved boy, if you know what I mean," Ragnor chattered on and relished his tea.

Magnus knew what he meant. He'd been playing with the idea himself, but he was afraid it would completely drain him out of magic. Visiting people in their dreams was complex magic at its highest level and Magnus hadn't done it in a very long time. He had tried to visit Alec the other night, but they were either in different time zones, or Alec wasn't getting enough sleep – that thought had smashed Magnus's heart a little -, or maybe Magnus's magic just wasn't strong enough.

"No," He said firmly. "That requires way too much magic and, if you haven't noticed, I can't waste any more of it!" Magnus gesticulated the entire sentence to make Ragnor see how impossible that idea was.

"Who are you talking to, warlock?" One of the Shadowhunters yelled at him from across the room.

 _Damn it,_ Magnus thought as he realized he might have raised his voice at Ragnor a little.

"I told you he was mad," a second Shadowhunter informed the first one mockingly and Magnus heard them approach him.

"And here we go," Magnus muttered, held up a hand and, expressing his despair, closed his fingers into a fist one by one.

He knew what was coming. The Shadowhunters had the best fun mocking and humiliating him. They had covered pretty much every aspect of Magnus's life, from his sexuality, clothes, bohemian life style, to his magic and the fact that he was immortal and half demon, and they never got tired of it. It was nothing Magnus hadn't experienced before, but it was becoming less and less tolerable each day. There was something especially tiring about hearing people harass you 24/7 for nine days straight. Whenever Magnus felt like he was losing it he pictured Alec in his head. But it was getting harder not to lose control, and when he made comments like "If you were as good at fighting as you are at calling people names, you'd make maybe… _half_ of a soldier," it didn't help his situation, to say the least. Magnus wasn't sure anymore how he would take the next insult. He was on the verge of completely losing it.

And the worst part of it all? He didn't have any alcohol to help him cope with it. Not a single drop.

"I wonder if you will ever let me do my work in peace," he said wearily when the Shadowhunter who had spat on him reached him accompanied by another who loved calling him the mad warlock. That sort of became his nickname to the members of the Circle.

"You don't seem to be doing enough of said work, warlock. What's the matter? Is it getting too much for you to handle?" the spitter teased him.

 _You would love to have me admit that, wouldn't you?_ Magnus was definitely not giving them what they so eagerly wanted. He casually perched on the big piece of rock that was protruding from the wall as he chose to change the subject.

"Let me ask you something, boys. What are your plans once Valentine gets arrested?" He gave them a playful smile. "Or worse, turned into a _forsaken."_ He lowered his voice at the word pretending to be concerned.

He was really curious about their opinion on that matter. Most of Valentine's army was composed of fairly young men and some women that, Magnus suspected, came from dysfunctional or broken homes with an eager desire to prove themselves to the world. He understood that kind of need and he couldn't really blame them for being so susceptible to Valentine's brain washing. He pitied the youngest the most, since they represented the biggest waste of human potential. He knew a lot of these new Shadowhunters had brought their little brothers and sisters to Valentine, as a form of repayment for changing their lives. This kind of sick loyalty made Magnus shiver in disgust whenever he thought about it. He wondered if the possibility of Valentine losing had ever crossed their mind.

"You're going to die before all of us, mad man," the second Shadowhunter stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the Universe and Magnus was too dumb to see it. So, the answer to Magnus's question was, apparently not.

"Oh, we'll see about that," Magnus replied with the most innocent smile he could draw on his lips.

Ragnor didn't leave, he watched Magnus attentively from the background, curious about where this was heading.

"Enough of the chit-chat. Get back to work." The Shadowhunter who had spat on Magnus's face grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down. Magnus landed on his feet and massaged his sore arm where that brute had grabbed him.

"Yeah, unless you want that precious Shadowhunter of yours to suffer," the other said slyly. "Not that he shouldn't suffer. He doesn't deserve to be a Shadowhunter, he's just as filthy as you…"

Thanks to Magnus's intervention, the Shadowhunter couldn't finish his sentence. The furious warlock held his index finger up and drew an invisible line in the air, which was then burned onto the skin of the Shadowhunter's neck, who let out a scream of pain.

"I'm sorry," Magnus said softly as he approached the writhing Shadowhunter on the floor, his voice filled with quiet rage. Fury was burning him up like it never had before. "I don't think I heard you properly. Would you mind… repeating that?"

He could take all the insults, all the humiliation from these worthless people; it didn't mean a thing to him. But speaking ill about Alec? That was unforgivable. He would not tolerate a single bad word about him.

As he moved his finger, the burnt line of skin grew longer on the Shadowhunter's neck. The room went silent except for his yelps of pain. Everyone stared at the scene startled and when the Shadowhunter next to him woke from his puzzled state, he drew his seraph blade out ready to attack Magnus with it.

Magnus raised his other hand and, with a grabby gesture, smashed the bones of the spitter's neck. He was dead before his corpse had even hit the ground, and Magnus looked up to see six more Shadowhunters advancing at him with their weapons. Magnus held up the hand that had just taken the Shadowhunter's life and threatened the small group with a burning blue flame. He didn't need to say a word to make them stop right where they were.

Exactly a second later, Valentine marched in the room, followed by a group of 20 Shadowhunters.

"That's _enough,_ Bane!" He yelled at Magnus.

Magnus's eyes fell on the young boy, barely a teenager, standing behind the crowd, staring at him with wide eyes. It was the same boy from a couple of days ago when Magnus had seen him for the first time and was so astonished to see such young kids being used as Valentine's weapon that he had turned his seraph blade into a stuffed teddy bear and told him that's what he should be playing with. His big brother, who was about Alec's age, hadn't appreciated that very much, and when Magnus tried to explain to him the importance of keeping sharp objects away from children, he attacked Magnus with the most obscene words possible along with his blade. But to Magnus's luck, all that happened in the magic zone, as he liked to call it, so he could easily fight back.

The boy's gaze pierced Magnus like a knife. He was obviously horrified at the scene and Magnus felt like waking up from a hypnotic state. His hands fell limply to his side, releasing the agonizing Shadowhunter from his torturing magic and turned back to Valentine.

"This is how things will go from now on," Magnus dictated the rules to Valentine fiercely. "You will tell your little puppets to leave me alone, not just when I'm here, but during the entire period of our pitiful arrangement. You want to know why? Because you can either have the portal you want, or you can live knowing your army wins at humiliation. But you can't have both." He said reminding Valentine of his own words to Magnus when he forced him to murder those people to become more powerful.

Magnus heard an enthusiastic "Oh, _burn!"_ from behind. Ragnor clearly couldn't help himself. He was too shocked and amazed at the same time, and Magnus couldn't blame him. He couldn't believe what just happened either.

If looks could kill, Magnus would have died from Valentine's. But he glared back without a blink until Valentine ordered his Shadowhunters to take care of the body and to let Magnus work undisturbed. Only then Magnus could finally turn away.

He turned and stood face to face with Ragnor, who gave him a soft questioning look. Magnus's face twitched in bitterness and he thought maybe his friend was right. He didn't want to become this monster. This wasn't him. Valentine had been such a bad influence on him, he only made his inner demon grow and Magnus had to put an end to that before it was too late; before he would turn into something unrecognizable. He was filled with remorse at his actions. He should have known better. He should have let it pass. Magnus would never have approved this behavior and the entire cave crashing on him couldn't have hit him harder than shame was hitting him right now.

 _This needs to stop,_ he thought, taking a deep breath to calm himself.

He needed Alexander. Only his caring, selfless and warm Alec and the love Magnus felt for him could make him cope. If only he could catch a glimpse of those gorgeous hazel eyes, feel his sweet rosy lips against his or just lean against him to feel his strong, warm body… it would make Magnus's world infinitely better.

He turned his attention back to the small blue ball floating above the ground, as he made up his mind: he would attempt contacting Alec in his dream again soon.


	13. Do You Believe In Magic

Isabelle, Jace, Clary and Luke were summoned downstairs where Alec had had his bachelor party. The girls and Jace were sitting on the bench and Luke straddled a chair casually as they all turned their attention to Alec, who had his fists together from the tension that was pulsing through his body. Isabelle had crossed her legs like a schoolchild to get comfortable while Clary and Jace's bodies tensed up from the unexpected appearance.

"So, umm…" Alec began his speech rather gawkily, which made him start walking from one side of the room to another nervously. "Thanks for coming. I wanted to… I called you here to just…"

Gosh, what was he thinking? Why did he have to make such a big deal out of this? He should have just told them what he wanted to say individually without making himself sweat in front of them. Alec realized this was a stupid idea, but it was too late to call it off now. He stopped and faced his friends.

"I just want to apologize to you. I know I haven't been very… friendly these last couple of days…" Alec felt himself get interrupted by the dubious looks he was receiving from Clary and Jace, as if they thought his choice of the words 'not very friendly' wasn't accurate enough. And Alec knew they had a right to question him – he had barely talked to them lately and when he did, he'd been so rude he was surprised they even came. He had to make this right. He stood up straight and clasped his hands behind his back.

"Look, I'm sorry," Alec pleaded, his eyes flicking from person to person. "I haven't been myself lately. I've been feeling so lost… but I know that's not an excuse for being a jerk. I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me," he finished, avoiding their eyes in embarrassment.

"Alec," Isabelle said softly and he looked up with hope in his eyes. "It's okay. Of course we forgive you," She said with a reassuring smile. The others nodded in agreement and Alec let out a relieved sigh.

"Okay, good." Alec allowed himself a tentative smile and felt his body relax a little. "I was wondering… would it be okay with you guys if I joined you on your missions?" He asked and felt the tension creep up on him again.

"Alec, you don't have to do that," Jace said in a soothing voice. "You made yourself pretty clear the other day and we respect your decision."

"I know I don't have to. But I want to help. I know you guys could use an extra hand or two in a fight," Alec offered. It was completely against his nature to just stand by and watch his friends come home sore or injured battle after battle. "Besides… Magnus wouldn't want me to just… sit here and do nothing." The one thing Alec was sure of was that Magnus wouldn't want him to be sad to the point where he felt completely lost and alone. "And I don't feel comfortable doing that either. So what do you say, can I go back to training?" He focused on Jace now, expecting an answer from him.

"If that's what you really want, Alec, sure. I'd be happy to help you get back in shape." Jace nodded and gave Alec a smile.

Alec smiled back. He didn't realize how eager Izzy had been to jump off that bench until the second she did it.

"Well, if that is all, Clary and I will excuse ourselves," she said cheerfully and grabbed Clary's arm. "We have some urgent business to attend to," Izzy said with a bright smile on her face.

Clary's face, however, indicated that she had no idea what urgent business they had. Izzy dragged her away before she could even say "We do? Okay then," and filled her in the details. Alec watched them leave and had no idea what they chattered about – although he did overhear an excited word or two about shopping from Izzy – until he was distracted by Jace standing right in front of him.

"So, shall we do this then?" Alec asked Jace, pointing upstairs.

"Yeah, let's do this." Jace nodded and they were about to head back up when Luke stepped forward.

"Alec, can I talk to you for a second?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, sure," Alec replied, too surprised to say no.

"Meet me upstairs, okay?" Jace asked. Alec gave him a nod and Jace patted Alec on the shoulder before leaving.

"Hey, what's up?" Alec turned to Luke intrigued.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry we couldn't help Magnus that day. I wish things hadn't gone the way they did," Luke said with a sad look in his eyes.

"I know you tried. This isn't your fight, anyway." Alec meant every word. He was grateful for having Luke on his side and didn't want him to feel like he owed him or anything.

"Yeah, but still. I wish there was something I could do. I owe it to you and Magnus, you both helped me be reunited with Jocelyn." Luke seemed even sadder after that statement. He hated being so helpless.

"It's okay. You did everything you could. Magnus knows this too," Alec reassured him.

"Look, I know you're probably sick of hearing this, but… You really shouldn't give your hopes up. Magnus is tougher than he lets on," Luke said awkwardly.

Alec was caught off guard by Luke's sudden change of topic and looked at him surprised.

"You really believe he has a chance to escape?" He asked, biting his lips anxiously.

"Yes, of course. I think Valentine's the one who should be scared, he's messing with the wrong warlock. Knowing Magnus, he definitely has a trick or two up his sleeve already. You just be patient and you'll see," Luke said that with such contagious confidence that Alec felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He felt lighter and hope radiated from his heart through his whole body.

But then he remembered what Magnus being back would also implicate and some of that hope escaped him like a mouse running from a cat.

"Him being away is not the only issue, to be honest. Even if he was here…" Alec stopped himself as he suddenly realized what he was talking about. He crossed his arms and looked up at Luke uncertainly, wondering if he should say any more. Luke was looking at him waiting for the rest and something about the way he stood there, confident and all ears for Alec told him that he could trust him.

"I haven't talked to anyone about this," Alec admitted and looked away. He wasn't sure he could go through with it, so he took a deep breath and let it out once and for all. "He's immortal and I'm not. He'll never age a day, but I will. I'm going to die one day and he's just…" Alec didn't know how to word his fears anymore. He did his best, but he felt so powerless like saying them out loud would actually make them come true. But what Luke had to say next took him completely by surprise.

"Alec, don't you think it's a bit early to worry about this?" Luke crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes on Alec like a worried parent would look at their child.

Alec just stood there, blinking at Luke, not entirely sure he heard that right.

"What do you mean?" He asked after a while and tried to sound not too puzzled by Luke's question.

"Well, you _just_ met Magnus. You barely even know each other," Luke stated the obvious.

"So?" Alec didn't know how this was relevant.

"So… This doesn't have to be bigger than it is for now. It's not like you two are getting married, is it?" Luke raised an eyebrow at Alec.

"Well, no, but..." Alec had no idea where Luke was going with all this. "It's still a problem and…"

"There's always going to be a problem, Alec," Luke interrupted him with firm words. "Especially in a relationship. But you can't let that scare you off. If you're always going to worry about everything that could go wrong and when it's going to happen, you'll never get to live your life," Luke said and shook his head to stress his last words. "Trust me, I've been there."

"So…What are you saying?" Alec was afraid to hear anything as an answer at this point.

"I'm saying that maybe you should take one baby step at a time and see where things go. It won't be easy," Luke reasoned with him. "I mean, it's definitely a miracle that Jocelyn and I are together today." Luke shook his head disbelieving about this fact.

"But at least you're both mortal," Alec argued.

"It doesn't matter what the problem is, Alec. Jocelyn and I had to face a lot of our fears and Valentine was only one of them. But it was all worth it, because we have each other now. Basically, all you have to decide is whether that person is worth going through the pain for or not." Luke was not giving up on this. He wanted Alec to know he had options.

"I just wanna protect him. I don't want to cause him any pain in the future. Whenever that is. He deserves better," Alec sad sadly and led his eyes back on the floor.

In that moment, Luke felt the urge to hug Alec. Seeing him so hopeless was such a burden for him; he had really grown close to the boy in the last couple of weeks. It saddened him that Alec couldn't see all the qualities and all the good deeds he had already given to the world. All he ever cared about was giving more, being better, as if what he had to offer wasn't enough.

Luke wished Alec saw how inaccurate his thinking was, how much the people around him valued him, but on the other hand, he didn't want to come off as too pushy. He imagined that Alec opening up to him like this was a first and he didn't want to throw away his trust.

"There's only so much you can protect people from, Alec," Luke said softly. "And Magnus is his own person, he can decide what he wants for himself. I'm sure he knows about the consequences of dating someone mortal. I'm sure he's done it before, and look at him now, he's fine."

 _You mean, aside from being Valentine's prisoner for ten days already, yes, he is. But I don't want to be just a chapter of his life,_ that thought had been haunting Alec ever since Magnus's immortality had become an issue. It was like a very cloudy and gray sky promising a storm upon a flooded city.

Luke sighed as he read by Alec's facial expression that his approach wasn't working.

"Look, why don't you just try to not overthink it?" He asked smoothly. "And who knows? Maybe one day, when you're least expecting it, the Universe will hand you a solution," Luke said and held out his arms as in to point to the solution lying right in front of Alec.

"That's highly unlikely, isn't it?" Alec sounded very doubtful.

"Well, you never know. Believing it won't do any harm," Luke replied with a light shrug.

Alec nodded while getting lost in his thoughts. _Right. That word again._ Everyone wanted him to _believe._ Like it was that easy. Alec was a much rational person, believing didn't come naturally to him. Luke could be really convincing, though. And maybe it was worth a shot since everybody he cared about had suggested the same thing? It's not like he had anything else to do about his fears for now. Although, he imagined it would be so much easier to face them together with Magnus.

So that night when he went to bed after an especially exhaustive training session with Jace, he decided to let go of the torturing thoughts and focus on one idea only: _Magnus will come back._ He didn't know when or how, but he was determined to believe that Magnus would return to him. It was the only positive thought he allowed himself, but he held onto it with everything he had. And that night he had the first good sleep since Magnus had been taken away.


	14. Sweet Dreams, Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The awaited little "reunion"... Enjoy! And let me know what you think, please! :)

_"_ _Your eyes, they shine so bright / I wanna save that light / I can't escape this now / Unless you show me how" – from Demons by Imagine Dragons_

* * *

 

Magnus laid on the bed in his cold cell frustrated. He'd tried reaching Alec in his dream again without success, and he could feel his inner anxiety growing with every failed attempt. Magnus was grateful that at least this form of magic was free for him to use; he wouldn't be able to do magic in his cell if it was applied on material things, like opening the cell door or setting the place on fire – both ideas had crossed Magnus's mind – but visiting Alec in his dream required mental work only and that kind of magic couldn't be blocked from him.

There could be many reasons this wasn't working: Magnus and Alec could be in different time zones, which could explain why Alec wasn't asleep yet; or maybe Magnus's magic wasn't strong enough after spending the entire day working on Valentine's portal; or - Magnus's heart squirmed at the thought - Alec was hurt, making it impossible for Magnus to reach him. Either way, Magnus hated that he couldn't contact Alec, he was so desperate to see him. Alec was like fresh air to a drowning man to him right now; he couldn't think straight without him. He barely had a grip on it as it was.

So Magnus reached into the inner pocket of his blazer and held out a tiny bottle with a blue potion in it. It was glowing softly, casting subtle shimmers over the walls of his cell. It was a kind of magic booster – not nearly as strong as taking people's lives and using their souls for magic – it was more like an energy drink, extremely difficult to make, which could give the warlock an extra kick to keep him going. Magnus had brought three little bottles with him, but had already used up two over the past week to help him with the portal.

He held up the last bottle and stared at its swirling contents. It contained only one gulp of elixir, and Magnus wondered if it would be smarter to keep it for later, for his escape plan. His hesitation didn't last long, though, as he pictured Alec in front of him and the joy seeing him would bring him. So Magnus opened the small bottle and downed its content, hoping with all his might that Alec was asleep and this wouldn't turn out to be a ridiculous waste of magic.

He laid on his back, trying to get as comfortable as the hard bed allowed him to, and closed his eyes, focusing his thoughts on Alec. He felt the magic buzzing in his head first and then slowly vibrating through his body. It involved all his senses, and when Magnus felt like he was floating in space, completely weightless, he knew the magic was working.

It took a while before he could finally sense Alec, and when he did, he didn't hesitate to follow him. He decided to just show up wherever Alec was in his dream instead of pulling him away into a different location; that way Magnus could save a lot of magic.

He only opened his eyes when he felt solid ground under his feet, and he found himself – to his astonishment – in a very familiar place: his own loft.

It was dark; the only light came from the streets of Brooklyn. But the loft seemed exactly the way he had left it, except… As Magnus looked around, he noticed the ceiling was gone and a sky full of stars had taken its place.

 _That's an interesting idea, Alexander,_ Magnus thought and sought Alec with his eyes until they fell on a tall dark figure standing taciturnly by the window with his arms crossed, staring out at the city, apparently buried in thoughts. Magnus's heart skipped a beat when he saw him.

"Alexander?" He asked softly, too afraid to speak up, as if that could wake Alec up and scatter the dream away.

Alec turned around slowly to face Magnus, his lips slightly parted in surprise. They just stood there, holding their breaths, unable to believe that they were in front of each other. They didn't even dare to blink, wanting to savour every second they could look on each other, like if the other could disappear in the short moment of a blink.

"Magnus?" Alec replied bewildered and moved towards him with hesitant steps.

And that was it for Magnus. He had been so eager for this to happen and now that it had, he wasn't prepared for all the emotions overtaking him, so he just stood there, paralyzed, staring at Alec with wide eyes and never letting his face out of his sight. When Alec finally stopped in front of him, Magnus felt like he was about to explode, he was so overwhelmed by Alec's beauty. Those big beautiful eyes and those rosy lips and that face full of hope were too much for him. He had spent so much time away from anything beautiful that so much of it now hit him really hard.

_Oh my Alexander! It's him! He's here, right in front of me! Oh dear, is this really happening?_

_He's staring at me with THOSE eyes!_

_I think I'm about to die._

"Magnus…" Alec's numb voice showed an overwhelming amount of feelings. "Are you really… are you here?"

_Say something, you stupid warlock!_

"Well," Magnus shook his head and finally recomposed himself. He gave Alec a small smile. "This _is_ my loft, so it's not that surprising to see me here, is it?"

"Is this real?" Alec looked around confused and Magnus knew he was sensing the strange buzz in the air of Magnus's magic leaking into the dream.

"It's only magic," He said, not feeling the need to explain more. All he wanted was to enjoy Alec for as long as possible.

Alec looked him up and down like he still couldn't believe what he was seeing, and Magnus was glad he had performed a small glamour on his dream self to make himself and his clothes look neat. He had even managed to conjure some eyeliner and subtle golden eyeshadow. He didn't want Alec to see him in the pitiful state he really was in. He didn't want to make Alec feel bad for him – if he wasn't feeling bad already, that is.

"Magnus, I…" Alec's voice was trembling now and he looked down for a second to avoid Magnus's look, which only made Magnus worry. And Alec gave him every reason to do so, because when he looked up his eyes were very watery.

"I'm so sorry I'm making you go through this," Alec said and tears began to trace their way down his face, drawing a line across his cheeks. It broke Magnus's heart into a million pieces.

"Oh no, Alec, sweetheart…" He said soothingly. He did not plan to call him by such an intimate nickname so soon, but he couldn't help it. It slipped his mouth without thinking and he watched Alec for any signs of discomfort or rejection caused by his 'sweetheart'. But Alec didn't seem to mind.

"You're not making me do anything," Magnus continued and looked into those beautiful dark eyes. "I made my own choice going with Valentine. And it's not as bad as you think. I get to tease a lot of Shadowhunters, which, you know, has been a hobby of mine for many years," He added playfully in an attempt to make Alec feel better.

"Has he hurt you?" Alec asked, turning from sad boy to fierce and threatening Shadowhunter.

"No, no, nothing like that," Magnus assured him. _Well, at least not physically,_ he added in thought.

"Why does he want you there? What did he ask you to do?" Alec asked curiously. The tears had stopped, to Magnus's relief.

"He wants me to create a portal to a place he can send all the Downworlders. He seems to think that's easier to do than killing them all one by one. I've gotta hand it to him, it's not the… stupidest idea I've ever heard of," Magnus said and looked away, because he didn't want to show his feelings towards Valentine in front of Alec. He didn't want this topic to ruin their miraculous reunion.

"How are you, Alexander?" Magnus changed the topic, smiling at Alec. He noticed that Alec had lost some weight since the last time he had seen him.

"Who cares about me?" Alec asked confused. "I'm not the one trapped with Valentine," He stated objectively.

"Well, _I_ care," Magnus said like it was too obvious. He couldn't believe Alec seriously just asked him that.

"I'm fine," Alec answered reluctantly. "I miss you," He admitted shyly, hoping it was dark enough for Magnus not to see him blush.

"I miss you too, Alec," Magnus replied with googly eyes and felt a bubble of happiness form in his chest when he saw Alec smile at his words.

"I just feel bad, because we left each other on such bad terms." Alec gave Magnus a sad look, but he didn't seem so shaken up by his emotions anymore. "And… I never should have done that. I never should have pushed you away. I wish we could just start over, you know?" Alec looked at Magnus with so much hope and need in his eyes it made Magnus melt even more.

Magnus suspected the only reason Alec was so open about his feelings now, was that he believed it was just a dream - and Magnus had no intention to tell him otherwise – but, even so, he loved that Alec felt comfortable enough to be honest about his feelings with him. He wondered what he had done to earn his trust.

"And we can," He answered, taking Alec's hand with one of his hands and cupped his cheek with the other. Alec looked down at their linked hands in surprise, as if he hadn't been expecting how real Magnus's touch felt.

"Look, Alec. Please, don't worry about me. I'm fine. This is nothing I can't handle," He reassured Alec about his situation in a soothing voice and caressed his check with his thumb. He loved the way Alec's skin felt touching his, it was like his hand always belonged there. And Alec seemed to be enjoying it too by the way he leaned into Magnus's hand.

"Okay," He said softly. The small word sounded somewhat like a purring cat to Magnus. He raised his eyebrows thinking _'Damn, that was easy. I should do this more often.'_ In fact, Magnus was sure that if he had known caressing Alec provoked this effect on him he definitely would have done it sooner.

In the meantime, Alec was marveling about the way Magnus's touch made him feel. He had never felt anything like this before. That gentle and caring hand felt like the safest place in the world. Alec knew nothing bad would happen as long as he was with Magnus like this; just the two of them together in this haven. Magnus slowly rubbing his thumb against his cheek sent warm shivers down Alec's body, so he closed his eyes for a second to take it in and opened them again when he felt Magnus's breath reach his face. Their faces were so close their noses were almost touching. They both held their breaths from the tension that was surrounding them and stared into each other's eyes with yearning.

Magnus hesitated. He wanted to kiss Alec so much, but he was also afraid if he did, the dream would disintegrate immediately. He couldn't possible keep his focus on maintaining it if he was kissing Alec, which was everything his body and soul had been longing for. It made him so happy that Alec hadn't rejected him. He felt that he was starting to lose control over the dream already. He wished there was more light to see Alec's face better and the next thing he knew, dozens of tiny golden balls of light emerged around them, floating lazily in the air, illuminating them.

Alec didn't pay attention to the candle-like illumination that just happened to appear around them. Although, he was grateful it allowed him to see Magnus in his full grace. His breathing got heavier just from watching Magnus's beautiful features until the point where he couldn't hold himself back anymore. He leaned in and felt his nose brush Magnus's cheek as he placed his lips over Magnus's.

Despite his initial hesitation, Magnus responded to the kiss eagerly and placed his hands behind Alec's neck. He allowed a hand to go even further, up Alec's soft hair when he felt Alec's strong arms wrapped around his back, pulling him closer. If the world had to end right now this was the place where Alec wanted to be – at this tender dance of lips and tongues with Magnus. The kiss was slow paced, and they explored each other curiously with light caresses.

The floating golden balls multiplied around them, and Magnus pulled away. Alec chased after his lips, but Magnus maintained a distance. His magic was dropping quickly and he was terrified of losing Alec again. He took a deep breath and concentrated all his power into maintaining the dream.

 _Please, please, just a little more, I beg you,_ Magnus pleaded desperately to keep the dream going.

Alec wasn't sure why Magnus had pulled away. He hoped it wasn't because of his clumsiness at kissing. He turned away a little embarrassed and then… the most beautiful scene caught his attention. He glanced up at the hundreds of magical balls of light that reminded him of tiny candles, hovering around them and bathing everything in the living room in a nice golden shade. They went all the way up to the black sky.

"It's so pretty," Alec said delighted and couldn't help the big smile that took over him as he watched this breathtakingly beautiful scene.

"The prettiest," Magnus agreed and Alec had no idea that he was in fact talking about his smile, not the floating magic balls. Those he had seen a million times before. But Alec smiling like this was rare and new to him and truly the most beautiful thing Magnus had ever witnessed.

Alec gazed back at Magnus, carving the image of him immersed with the golden light into his memory. It was a sight he never wanted to forget, even if it was only from a dream.

Magnus watched Alec devour him with his eyes, stunned, and as much as it hurt him, he knew it was time to say goodbye. His magic could end at any second now.

"Alexan-" He started, but Alec didn't let him finish. He grabbed Magnus by his waist, pulled him close again and kissed him full on the mouth. Magnus instantly went out of air and couldn't keep his magic flowing anymore as the kiss became more passionate than before. They were completely lost in each other, desperate hands running up and down each on other's backs and arms and messing up hair, their bodies glued to each other and they felt the two hearts pounding frantically. Until a cold breeze of air passed through them all of a sudden, putting all the magical lights out. In fact, the entire apartment had vanished and Alec and Magnus were left standing in pitch black space.

Alec broke the kiss and hugged Magnus tight against him, burying his face in Magnus's hair and inhaling his scent.

"Please, don't go," He whispered into Magnus's ear, like he had known this was coming to an end.

 _I don't want to, love,_ Magnus thought bitterly, as he hugged back. But he didn't have a choice. He rested his head on Alec's shoulder and tried very hard to keep his tears at bay. He felt Alec's pounding heart against his and planted a soft kiss on his neck, which made Alec shiver from head to toe and let out a small moan. Magnus faced his loved one once again and left a soft, lingering kiss on his sweet lips before the vacuuming sensation of the dream ending ripped them apart.

Magnus was lucky he was already lying on the bed; otherwise he would have crashed on the floor from the force that had expelled him out of Alec's dream. He kept his eyes closed as he slowly recovered his breath.

 _Thank you, Alexander,_ he thought and tears of joy ran down from his closed eyelids. He was worn out from the abuse of magic he'd just performed, but despite that, he felt warm and fully restored for the first time in days and he hadn't felt this happy since Alec's wedding day.

He remembered Alec's heartwarming face and Magnus fell asleep with his lips curled up in a smile.

* * *

Hundreds of miles away, Alec woke up in panic. He sat up on his bed and looked around in the darkness. When he recognized the familiar shapes of his room he let out a sigh of relief and relaxed his body against the pillows.

Alec's heart was still beating fast from what just happened. He placed his fingers over his lips, so astonished by how real Magnus's kiss had felt. He knew this had been the most wonderful experience that ever happened to him. _Too bad it was just a dream_ , he thought, wishing it had happened for real, although he knew he wouldn't have had the courage to admit all his thoughts and feelings to Magnus and kiss him the way he did in this dream. But for now, all he cared about was this warm fuzzy feeling in his chest as he remembered the details of the dream. He replayed it inside his head until he fell asleep again.

The next morning Alec went straight to Isabelle's room. She had just gotten dressed up; she received him wearing black skinny jeans and a cute pink satin top. Her hair was up in a loose ponytail.

"Hey, Izzy. Can I talk to you, please?" Alec seemed rather flustered.

"Morning, Alec," She greeted him with a smile and let him in.

Alec realized that Izzy was in the process of getting her make up on, so he walked to the farthest point from the mirror possible.

"What's up, big brother?" Izzy asked him calmly. She knew her brother too well and had picked up the nervous vibes from him as soon as she laid her eyes on him. So she gave him space and went back to the wall length mirror to use her favorite new acquisition from yesterday's shopping trip with Clary: a pink matte lipstick. She had a clear view of Alec's anxious reflection.

"Have you ever had a dream that felt so real you actually believed it was real? Until you woke up?" Alec asked staring at Izzy's back.

"Sure. I think everyone has dreams like that," Izzy answered a bit surprised at the topic.

"Well, I just had this really weird dream with Magnus," Alec said and he felt his cheeks go red.

Isabelle stopped applying her lipstick and raised an eyebrow at her brother's reflection.

 _Well, look at you. One kiss from Magnus and your mind is already corrupted_ , Izzy thought with some pride.

This conversation was certainly getting interesting. Who would have thought Alec would talk to her about his wet dreams? Surely, not Izzy.

"It's completely normal to have _those_ kinds of dreams, Alec," was all she said with a shrug. She was trying to show him it wasn't a big deal.

"What?" Alec blinked and shook his head confused at Izzy's tone. Isabelle put her lipstick down and turned around to face him.

"Oh, you mean like…. It wasn't…" Isabelle said awkwardly, waiting for her brother to understand what she was hinting at.

But he just looked even more confused now.

 _Wow bro, are you really that innocent or are you just playing dumb?_ She gazed at her brother suspiciously, but she couldn't read him. Alec had perfected his poker face years ago.

 _Or maybe my mind is just too dirty…_ Isabelle shook the disturbing thought out of her head and pressed her lips against each other to contain her embarrassment. Even though Alec seemed to have no idea what she was insinuating.

She sat down on her bed and took a deep breath before looking at Alec again.

"So… Why was this dream so weird?" She asked keeping a normal conversational voice.

Alec sat on the bed next to Izzy and didn't look away, which made her happy. She loved that Alec turned more to her for advice now after he'd had that breakdown the other day.

"He was there, he told me he was doing fine. And that I shouldn't worry about him." Alec sighed. "I guess I just heard what I wanted to hear. But it felt so real, Izzy. I never had a dream like that before."

"Well, maybe it was real. Maybe it's a warlock thing. Like when Dumbledore showed up for Harry and said that just because something is happening inside your head it doesn't mean it's not real," Izzy argued.

"Dumbel-who?" Alec blinked at her again and his confusion was definitely legitimate this time.

"Oh my God, Alec! You really need to be educated," Izzy challenged him as she jumped off the bed.

"I _am_ educated," He snapped back at her, a bit offended.

"Clearly not enough," Izzy said snarkily and went back to the mirror to finish applying the lipstick.

Alec rolled his eyes and decided he's had enough of his little sister and her inappropriate innuendos for one day. He got up and tugged her ponytail lightly before heading out of her room, making Izzy's hand slip and drawing a thick line of lipstick down her chin.

Izzy sighed and thought _'Okay, when is Magnus coming back? My brother needs distraction ASAP!'_ as she reached for the towel on her dressing table to clean up her face.


	15. Don't Trust A Mad Warlock

“What the hell is this? Are you _stripping_ now?” The tall Shadowhunter approached Magnus with a confused look on his face.

Magnus was just tired of wearing the same damn outfit for twelve days straight now. So he had just taken off his black blazer and thrown it across the room rather dramatically, catching the five guards’ attention with the gesture. Magnus raised his eyebrow at the confused Shadowhunter in front of him, not fully aware of his intentions. Then he let his head fall back and burst out in mocking laughter. The fact that the Shadowhunter had assumed he would actually strip in front of _them_ amused him. The Shadowhunter obviously didn’t like that reaction which only fueled Magnus’s need to irritate him. He stopped laughing and let out a sigh before turning to him all serious again.

“You _wish,_ ” He answered provocatively.

The Shadowhunter was about to reply, but Magnus didn’t let him say a word. He raised his index finger to quiet him.

“You don’t want Valentine to find out you’ve been disturbing me now, do you?” He threatened, finally making him back off with only a hateful look.

Magnus turned back to the portal with a self-satisfied smirk. _I might be the prisoner here, but you Nephilim are all my bitches now,_ he thought as he continued to work on the portal. After the little incident that had happened three days ago with those bully Shadowhunters Valentine had made it clear he didn’t want anyone engaging with Magnus in any kind of communication, because it was slowing his work down. Allowing Magnus to get away with murdering one of his soldiers and torturing another was very humiliating for Valentine and many Shadowhunters of his army wanted Magnus punished for it. Magnus knew the portal was the only thing keeping him alive; as soon as he was done with it Valentine himself would turn against him.

But Magnus had a plan to escape before it came to that. In fact, he had a plan not only to escape, but to also make Valentine suffer for all the pain he’d caused him and the Downworlders. And he was very glad to be left alone to work on the portal, because it had become an essential part of his plan and his work flowed much better without the constant interruptions. He had made great progress during the last two days, since the night he had succeeded in visiting Alec in his dream.

It had never occurred to him that Alec could be missing him or he would need Magnus before that dream. But Magnus had sensed that despair clearly emanating from Alec by the way he looked at him and kissed him. Those kisses and…they were everything Magnus had to hold on to, and they ignited so much power in him he didn’t even know he still had. Despite his thirst for revenge, Alec was still Magnus’s strongest motivation. He longed for Alec with such intensity it made everything else irrelevant. Also hearing rumors about Valentine planning an attack on the New York Institute served as more motivation; he had to stop Valentine from doing that. Magnus had to survive for both himself and Alec and he was going to do everything in his power to succeed.

For the next couple of hours all Magnus focused on was the portal, with the guarding Shadowhunters watching from a safe distance. And when he was, once again, on the edge of running out of magic, he began to feel this connection between him and the portal, like it was trying to communicate with him. He’d never done anything like this before, so he didn’t know exactly what to expect from the other side. But when the freezing, empty breath taking sensation cut through him, Magnus knew that he had accomplished his first goal. The portal was finished and the world behind it was ready to take in anything from this world.

And Magnus knew it was time to act.

He fell on the floor, breathing heavily. The blue ball that had been the growing portal until then had expanded into a pulsating transparent blue fog with flecks of yellow sparks all across it, making the air in the small room vibrate in every direction. The portal was eager to be opened for the first time. Magnus leaned on the wall by his side and got on his knees as the Shadowhunters took a cautious step towards the portal. They gazed at the scene with awe. They didn’t even dare to speak.

“Tell Valentine…” Magnus spoke in whispers between sharp breaths. “That his portal... is ready.”

The Shadowhunters slowly fell out of their gaze as Magnus’s words registered in their minds. One of them rushed out of the room to find Valentine, while the others stood there, staring into the blue fog almost mesmerized.

Everyone remained in silence until Magnus heard hurried footsteps approaching. Then Valentine marched in, followed by a crowd of ten, all heavily armed. Valentine stopped and held up his hand ordering his companions to stop where they were. He started at the blue fog for a few seconds before directing his attention to Magnus.

“Open it,” he ordered.

“I can’t…” Magnus exhaled the words weakly.

“I said open the portal!” Valentine yelled at him impatient.

“I can’t! Not in here!” Magnus attempted to yell back, but all that came out of his throat was a hoarse and desperate voice. “I’m not sure what I created…. But it’s too powerful. If I open it inside… the whole cave will crash and we all die in here!” He concluded dramatically.

That was only half a lie. The portal contained so much power Magnus knew it wouldn’t be smart to mess with it under the ground. If things got out of hand it could be dangerous to all of them. And Magnus really wanted Valentine to believe the worst would happen if they stayed in there; so he was depositing all his energy into his lying skills now. It seemed to have an immediate effect on the Shadowhunters at least; they all exchanged nervous murmurs at the new turn of events.

“Silence!” Valentine yelled without taking his eyes off Magnus and they stopped talking immediately. He narrowed his eyes at Magnus suspiciously, trying to read him.

“I don’t have much magic left,” Magnus continued with the same weakness and despair. “If you want it open we should go to the surface and _fast.”_ Magnus closed his eyes and leaned his head on the wall, like he had no energy left to hold it up. He hoped he was sounding weak enough to fool Valentine. Manipulating Valentine into getting him out of the cave was the first part of the plan. In order for it to work, it was essential that he got to the surface where nothing could limit his powers. Blocking magic was only possible in closed spaces. Nothing could stop Magnus once he was under the bare sky again, something which Valentine was perfectly aware of. Valentine stared at Magnus intently, trying to determine whether Magnus was telling the truth or not and if he represented a real threat in the moment.

And Magnus was doing his best to appear completely weak and harmless in Valentine’s eyes. Because if Valentine didn’t believe him, if he could see right through his intentions, all was lost.

There was so much tension in the nerve wracking silence, it felt like everyone in the room would lose their minds any second, until Valentine finally said the relieving words.

“Let’s go,” He ordered.

Magnus repressed a triumphant smirk and closed his eyes.  He retrieved the portal back into a large vibrating blue ball with his hand and let a strong Shadowhunter pick him up from the floor.

They carried him out of the magical room, across the dark halls straight to an old, mine-like elevator that Magnus had never seen before. He kept the portal right next to his hand the entire time. Many curious eyes followed them as they got inside the large elevator. Only fifteen went up with him and Valentine on the seemingly endless elevator ride to the surface, but Magnus knew there were about a thousand more of them down there.

They had kept Magnus in the dark, miles away from the surface for so long and now that his imprisonment was coming to an end Magnus felt his body shake with excitement. In response, the portal started to pulse faster and Magnus had to keep his emotions in check.

When they finally reached the surface, Magnus had to hold up his hand to protect his eyes from the intense sunlight. It was the first time he’d seen the sun in twelve days; it felt like a burning miracle. They stepped out of the elevator and slammed Magnus on the floor. He sat up and looked around as his eyes adjusted to the light. It was sunset, the sky was clear blue and they were in the middle of a hot desert. Not a single soul beyond them could be seen anywhere. All the eye could see was the treeless desert with red, cracked ground covered with dry, sharp edged bushes that made small scratches through Magnus’s skin as he leaned on them, and a large rocky hill they came out from. The fifteen Shadowhunters have formed a half circle around him and Valentine, and Magnus could see their hands were primed to grab the handles of their seraph blades at a moment’s notice, should he do anything underhand.  

 _Alright, Magnus… You only have one shot at this. So you either succeed or you’re a dead man,_ Magnus thought as he estimated how much magic exactly he had left; it wasn’t a lot. He felt anxiety from the adrenaline rushing through his body as he stood up and faced Valentine. He allowed his body to drop slightly, continuing the illusion of weakness.

“Open the portal,” Valentine ordered again.

Magnus shot him an annoyed look as he launched the portal up in the air with a showy hand gesture. It shot up before coming to a sudden halt around 6 feet away from the ground. The portal expanded into a solid shiny blue color – Magnus’s signature - with yellow sparks twirling across it, as it drifted towards the ground, hovering opposite to the line formed by the Shadowhunters. Magnus admired his work; the roughly eight feet tall portal was magnificent, even though no one else would recognize the masterpiece for what it was. Magnus was snapped out of the state of admiration by Valentine’s smug voice.

“Now, walk in,” He said with a smirk on his face. Apparently he was very pleased with how things were going. He finally had his portal and he thought he was going to get rid of Magnus too. But he was terribly wrong. Magnus was not going to make things easy for him.

“Oh…” Magnus said with an innocent, almost apologetic smile. “I have no intention of going in there.” He gestured at the portal.

“I don’t think you have a choice,” Valentine replied coldly.

“Actually, I do,” Magnus said firmly and he finally dropped the act he’d been pulling, straightening his back and looking Valentine directly in the eye, subconsciously readying his magic for the fight he knew was coming. “I don’t have to do anything you order me to do anymore. I did what you asked and there’s nothing else in that contract I have to obey, except for not hurting you, of course,” Magnus smiled at Valentine sweetly, purposely antagonizing him. The shock momentarily paralyzed everyone but Magnus was prepared to fight.

“Well then in that case,” Valentine said, his voice tinged with was disappointment that barely disguised his anger as he turned to his disciples and gave the final command: “Kill him.”

They attacked with everything they had. What none of them expected though was Magnus fighting back. He had no problem using his magic now; he could easily throw the Shadowhunters away from him with flicks of his hands and when arrows were pointed his way, he transformed them into black feathers with a casual wave of the hand as they flew towards him. All of the Shadowhunters’ efforts of subduing him were foiled easily and Valentine watched the scene, his expression livid, unable to believe that he’d been fooled by _a warlock_.

Despite the confident exterior, Magnus felt that his magic was evading him faster than expected and he realized he wouldn’t be able to keep this fight up for much longer. So he lifted his hands up above his head and slowly opened them and let them down by his sides drawing a small protective dome around himself. Some of the piled up Shadowhunters got up and tried to attack Magnus again, but they couldn’t get through the protective shield.

“You…” Valentine said with such rage, he could hardly say any more or even breathe.

Magnus felt a stab of gleeful satisfaction to see Valentine like that and his soul craved for more. He may not be able to hurt Valentine himself, but he could still make him suffer for wronging him.

“Yes, _me,_ ” Magnus smirked at him with glowing yellow eyes, the pupils narrowed to slits. Valentine’s slight recoil as his eyes flashed did not pass him by. “I’m afraid I have some bad news for you,” he continued with an smug smile. “This portal is only going to work once. I designed it specifically so that it would destroy itself after it was used. By the way, you don’t want to be anywhere near it when that happens.”

“Then you’re breaking the contract!” Valentine fumed at him.

“Not really,” Magnus replied with confidence and explained. “I’m not breaking any of those rules. I mean, could you, theoretically, send all the Downworlders of the world into the portal? Of course! Are you going to have the opportunity to do so? Now that’s an _entirely_ different subject, isn’t it? One that was _not_ covered by your precious little contract,” He finished smugly.

Magnus never planned to allow Valentine to send any Downworlders through that portal. When he created the portal he had to make sure he’d never get the chance to use it, so he designed it as a one-time use only portal. Once something or someone entered it, it would close and explode, releasing all the magic that was used to build it – and that was how Magnus intended to execute his revenge plan. He didn’t possess nearly enough power now to succeed on his own, but having all that free magic available to him to use as he wished… that would help him to do all the damage he wanted. The portal had been a part of his escape plan since the beginning.

to Magnus’s satisfaction, Valentine was left speechless. It hadn’t occurred to him that Magnus could turn the tables on him like this. But of course, he had always underestimated the Downworlders, treating them like lesser beings without considering the possibility that they could be just as cunning as him, or fight back in any way that could be considered a real threat. And Magnus wanted him to realize just how big the mistake of underestimating him had been.

“Oh, don’t look so surprised,” Magnus rolled his eyes at Valentine.  “You know what they say, after all…” Magnus added playfully. “…Don’t trust a mad warlock.”

That said, Magnus held out his hand and with a flip of his wrist, he lifted two Shadowhunters off the ground and directed them towards the portal.

“You can’t!” Valentine yelled at him. Magnus stopped the movement and now the Shadowhunters were floating in the air, desperate.

“You wouldn’t! They have families, people who count on them!” Valentine was trying to reason with Magnus, but Magnus had heard too much of Valentine’s infamous exploits to be fooled. Valentine didn’t give a damn about his followers, only that they did what he wanted. He also didn’t know that Magnus’s heart was pumping vengeance to every part of his being and he couldn’t care less about Valentine’s army or their imaginary families.

“I’m sure they do,” He answered with a serious nod. “Just like the Downworlders you forced me to kill must have had too. Or the hundreds of Downworlder families you’ve torn apart. But you never cared!” Magnus’s fury was out in the open, shocking the injured Shadowhunters and Valentine. As they looked up at him he seemed like a wrathful God; unstoppable and merciless. He was going to carry through this plan, even if making Valentine suffer would be the only good thing left for him; even if it consumed him. He threw the screaming Shadowhunters across the portal without thinking twice about it. And after those two, he picked up the rest of them one by one and threw them into the portal as well, and all Valentine could do was watch in horror.

When it was only the two of them left, Valentine let himself fall down on his knees. He looked like he’d been worn out from a war, even though he hadn’t done any of the fighting himself.  

“Why don’t you throw me in there too and be done with it?” Valentine asked him dejectedly. But Magnus saw right through his intention of making Magnus slip and break the contract. He shook his head as he thought ‘ _Who do you think you’re dealing with, you fool? I wasn’t born yesterday. You can’t trick me that easily.’_

“I want you to watch. Because I’m not finished yet,” Magnus said rather cruelly, causing Valentine to open his eyes wide open, fearing the worst.

Magnus turned the palm of his hand and opened a regular purple portal about two feet behind himself without turning back. He had to secure his way home before running out of magic. He was ready to leave. But not before finishing what he had started. Losing fifteen Shadowhunters out of an army of a thousand wasn’t punishment enough for Valentine.  

So he clapped his hands together to finally close the portal. And when that happened Valentine had to jump away, because he noticed all the energy contained in it was about to leap out. Magnus watched the beautiful and colorful explosion of the portal. It sort of reminded him of a supernova. The blue and yellow bended together, forming a massive bright ball of light that exploded into the air, releasing endless amounts of magical sparks. All of Magnus’s hard work in the past twelve days was concentrated there, causing strong vibrations in the air. Valentine had to turn away from the blinding light and Magnus took a step back. He had never had so much magic at his disposal in one go, and he knew the hardest part of his plan was just about to begin.

He held up his arms like he intended to hug all that magic and focused on gathering it together before it could escape. He closed his eyes and started absorbing the magic into his body. The more he absorbed the more it burned him inside, and the more he strained to keep it contained. He felt the magic run through his arms and reach his chest then directed it down his torso to his legs. His body was shaking and Magnus started to worry the magic might make him explode. It would have already destroyed any less experienced warlock by now, but Magnus was no inexperienced novice.

 _I can’t hold this anymore… what was I thinking?_ Thoughts of agony were running through Magnus’s mind; the burning sensation was too much to bear. He couldn’t keep up the protective shield around him anymore; he absorbed it too and with that extra push of magic he managed to concentrate it all on one foot, ignoring the unbearable hot agony in that one limp, which he then stomped firmly on the ground.

With that stomp, all the magic that had been concentrated in his body was released and passed on to the sandy ground. He gasped shakily in relief as the pain vanished, leaving his limbs like jelly and his heart pounding. Magnus only kept enough magic in him to keep him from passing out, and he tried to recover himself as he felt the magic get diffuse into the ground, causing small tremors in it at first. The cascade of tremors moved away from Magnus and Valentine and became gradually more intense as it propagated in waves, creating a cloud of dust and shaking the ground violently.

“No…” Valentine whispered in terror as he realized what was happening.

Magnus had summoned an earthquake directly above the caves where his Shadowhunter army was hidden like a litter of naked mole rats, and there was no stopping it now. The small hill behind them crushed into big chunks of rocks and everything in a two-and-a-half-mile radius was turned into rocks and dust and broke down the labyrinth of caves, crushing every single thing, living or not, that happened to be underneath it.

A few minutes later that piece of the desert and Valentine’s army of a thousand had been completely destroyed. Valentine was still at his knees, gazing into the mess, unable to move, save the dusty coughs that racked his body. Magnus felt hot from his performance and tucked up the sleeves of his black button up shirt to the elbows.

Magnus gave a defeated and broken Valentine a look of disdain. _I hope this teaches you a lesson,_ he thought as he eyed Valentine.

“This is for all the friends of mine that you killed,” He said bitterly, his voice charged with such hatred that Valentine blanched. He rejoiced in Valentine’s pain for a couple of seconds. He had waited for so long for this triumphant moment he wanted to cherish it and fix it in his memory forever.

Magnus’s plan had worked out perfectly and now it was time for him to go home. He turned his back to Valentine and faced the purple portal that had been waiting for him this whole time. He pictured the New York Institute in his mind as he stepped into the portal.

Valentine let out a cry of anguish, unable to stand watching Magnus escape, so he took his knife off his belt and threw it at the portal before it disappeared.

Magnus wasn’t on the other side yet when he felt the piercing pain in the middle of his back. He gasped as he stepped out of the portal and landed right in front of the stairs the led to the Institute’s entrance. The sharp knife was sticking out of his back and he fell on his knees shaking. It wasn’t night time yet, but everything became black and Magnus collapsed on the stairs, completely drained after sending up the last drop of magic to his wound, hoping it was enough to keep him alive.

 


	16. Reunited At Last

 

Alec sat in the infirmary, doing what he'd been doing for the last three days: watching Magnus closely and checking for any signs of his condition deteriorating. Jace and Izzy had found him unconscious in front of the Institute with a knife stuck in his back. They had no idea how he got there, but Alec didn't care. All he cared about was making sure that Magnus got better, even though it seemed like an impossible task at the moment. They'd been taking care of him the best way they could, but Magnus had been unconscious ever since and hadn't show any signs of improvement so far.

Alec rubbed his sore eyes with the palm of his hands and sat up straight on the stuffed armchair that had served as a bed for the last few days. He only left Magnus's side when Izzy offered to watch Magnus for a couple of hours while he got some decent sleep. But Alec was determined not to leave the Institute before Magnus woke up; he wanted to be there when it happened, he wanted Magnus to know that he was there for him.

He had had a lot of time to think about where he stood on this… thing he had with Magnus. It was complicated and Alec wasn't sure what to call what they had. But he did come to the conclusion that he didn't want to lose Magnus just yet. He'd been turning Luke's words over in his head and decided it was worth it to at least try. His need for Magnus was greater than the fear of his immortality. They could deal with that later. They had the time. Finally Magnus was back and that was what mattered the most. Now he just had to heal and Alec hoped they could figure things out together.

Alec was buried so deep in these thoughts, he missed the way Magnus slightly tilted his head to the side. He only noticed the change when his eyes fell on Magnus's half open eyes. Alec's heart skipped and beat and he froze from the shock and gazed up at Magnus's face.

"Magnus?" he asked carefully, holding his breath. He hadn't even noticed that he had reached out to Magnus's hand and now held it tightly in his own.

"Alexander..." Magnus exhaled his name as a weak smile curled up on his lips. He closed his eyes again and sighed. "Am I in heaven?"

"No. This is just the infirmary of the New York Institute," Alec replied and his body tensed up. Why was Magnus asking that? Had he hurt his head or something?

"Right. What was I thinking? I'm half demon, I can't go to heaven." Magnus's voice gained some strength and Alec felt his hand shift in his. He let out the breath he'd been holding and a smile formed on his lips. If Magnus was making jokes, then it was a sign that things were getting better.

Magnus opened his eyes fully and met Alec's. They stared at each other silently for a couple of seconds. Alec could only hope his eyes told Magnus what he couldn't put into words – how much he had missed him, how much he'd been worried about him and how happy he was to see him safe again. The mixture of feelings inside him felt like a rainbow after a storm. He felt his eyes burning up with tears of joy and looked away before Magnus could notice them too. He swallowed his tears and attempted a cool voice.

"How are you feeling?" He asked Magnus trying to stay as neutral as possible.

"I've been better," Magnus admitted and he took his hand out of Alec's to sit up on the bed, grimacing and hissing in pain as he tried to sit up in the best position possible without hurting his back too much.

"No, don't…" Alec protested and jumped up on his feet to help Magnus. He touched Magnus delicately, as if he could break at a single clumsy move like porcelain. With Alec's help Magnus managed to roll himself onto his side breathing heavily from the effort and Alec frowned, his forehead creasing with worry.

"Well, I'm alive. I shouldn't complain," Magnus said once he had regained his breath and rested his head on the white pillow.

Alec wanted to be comforting, but he didn't know what to say. So he pulled the chair closer to the bed, sat back on it and reached out to Magnus's hand and held it again. Magnus gave him a smile and he felt him gently squeeze his hand, sending a wave of unexpected excitement down Alec's body. He felt like kittens were running around frantically in his stomach and the rainbow inside him was fully cast from head to toe. Alec found it bewildering that just touching Magnus's hand had this effect on him. They stayed in this blissful state for a couple of minutes, transmitting how grateful they were for having each other through tender stares and handholding. They weren't worried about anything else around them. Then Magnus glanced down on his chest frowning.

"What am I wearing?" He asked as he stared at the loose dark blue t-shirt.

"It's-it's… it's one of m-my shirts," Alec stuttered awkwardly. "I figured you'd freak out if you woke up in one of the-the hospital gowns, so…" He couldn't finish the sentence. Remembering that day brought back very unpleasant memories and feelings – like the way Magnus was bleeding when they had brought him in, forcing them to tear his black shirt apart to perform a surgery on him, since drawing an iratze on his skin wasn't an option. Watching all that just made Alec feel like the world was going to end then. Seeing Magnus like that was without a doubt one of the worst moments of Alec's life and he had no desire to relive it. He stared at the bed quietly until Magnus spoke again.

"You know me so well," Magnus said softly and Alec could hear him smile, which gave him the courage to look up. It wasn't the first time Magnus had looked at him that way before; with eyes full of adoration and tenderness. Alec was not ready for that expression yet; it was doing things to him he was too embarrassed to admit. So he looked away again shyly.

Magnus misunderstood Alec's reaction and froze for a moment. He must be looking awful right now since his face was completely make-up free. He felt like a dirty mess. Due to his actions in the last two weeks; Magnus didn't feel like himself; he didn't even feel worthy of Alec's attention at all.

"I'm sorry you had to see my face like that," He said apologetically. "I must look terrible.

Alec looked up at him confused.

"I like your face the way it is," He said and gazed into Magnus's beautiful eyes. He liked him even more like this, without all the make-up, just pure Magnus. He wanted Magnus to know how important he was to him and he didn't need to hide behind makeup.

Those words had a wonderful effect on Magnus. He was left speechless as he felt a delicious warm wave of happiness spreading through his body. He fell even more in love with Alec. He was honest, caring and sweet with him; it was everything Magnus could hope for. Even the pain in his back had stopped for a moment. Alec was everything he needed to heal – physically and emotionally.

Magnus and Alec, still holding hands, were completely lost in this sweet moment when someone peeked inside the room.

"Oh my God!" They heard Isabelle's excited little squeal. Alec closed his eyes annoyed at her high pitched voice and squeezed Magnus's hand involuntarily as a way of reaching for comfort.

"Look who's up!" She said excitedly and ran across the room straight to Magnus's bed. She hopped onto it and with a bright smile squeezed Magnus into a tight hug. Magnus helplessly let go of Alec's hand and Alec caught him silently grimace from the pain that Izzy's hug had caused him. Alec got up from the chair and placed a hand on her shoulder to pull her away from Magnus.

"Geez, Izzy, be gentle…" Alec grumbled at her and rolled his eyes. She let go of Magnus and leaned away from him but stayed on the bed.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She said guiltily and covered her mouth with her hands.

"It's alright, dear," Magnus smiled at her. "I'm happy to see you too." He was amused by how she was the complete opposite of Alec – while he kept his feelings hidden behind solid walls she had no problem showing exactly how she felt.

Magnus's reassuring smile cast the guilt off of Izzy and she grinned at Magnus.

"Finally, some decent company! All I had for two whole weeks was my extra grumpy brother. You can't imagine how dull that has been!" She complained so dramatically, she knew it would tease Alec. Magnus just nodded along with serious air and held himself from laughing as he switched his eyes between a delighted Izzy and a clearly uncomfortable Alec. Magnus found Alec's grumpiness quite endearing.

"I'm _right_ here," Alec grumbled from behind his sister. But it was pointless; he could have been talking to a wall.

"Alec hasn't left your side for three days," She continued with the same enthusiasm.

"Izzy!" Alec fumed and stomped his foot on the ground nervously. Both Isabelle and Magnus looked up at him and he felt like a child caught stealing candy.

"I'm gonna go…" He held up his hand and pointed his thumb backwards. He knew his face was turning bright red. "I'm gonna see if there's…" He hated how he was stuttering again. Why did Izzy say that? She knew she'd make him feel super embarrassed.

"I'm gonna go get you… umm… something to-to eat," He finished without actually looking at Magnus, then turned around and rushed out of the room as if he was being chased. The pressure was too much on him. _It's not fair,_ he thought with a pinch of jealousy on his chest. _Why does she get called 'dear' and not me?_ Why did she have to make him get so flushed? He didn't understand his sister sometimes. And the way he stuttered around Magnus, he _hated_ that. Why did this keep happening to him? He walked so furiously he didn't even noticed Jace and Clary calling his name as he passed in front of the kitchen.

* * *

 

"Three days, huh?" Magnus asked Isabelle when they were left alone.

"Hey, it's not my fault my brother became obsessed with you," She answered him with a playful smile on her face.

Magnus was touched by both Alec's and Isabelle's caring for him. He'd spent such an intense period of time alone in the dark constantly being offended by people that this warmth felt strange, yet refreshing to him. But he didn't know how to sculpture these feelings into words, so he just smiled back at Alec's sister.

"I have something for you," Isabelle said mysteriously. "It's my way of saying thank you for saving my brother."

"Actually, before you give it to me, a shower would be nice," Magnus said hopefully. He really wanted to get rid of the dirt that made him feel so gross.

"Can you stand?" Isabelle got off the bed and held her hand out to help Magnus get up. Magnus took her hand and with some effort he was standing next to her, a bit shaky.

"Thank you for taking care of me," He said with a smile.

"We didn't do much, actually. Your magic did most of the trick," Isabelle said, looking at him with admiration.

 _Hmm, really? The last drop of my magic did something good after all,_ Magnus thought and he paid more attention to the emptiness that had been haunting him since he woke up. _Oh, no… it can't be,_ he thought and froze from the recognition.

"Magnus!" Clary yelled excitedly through Magnus's panic, and Magnus was mostly brought back by the two pairs of adoring eyes that stared at him, although his thoughts continued to race in the back of his mind.

Why were they looking at him like that? Why were they treating him like he was some war hero? This kind of attention was becoming suffocating to Magnus. But of course, they didn't know what Magnus had been through, what horrible things he had done. Not yet, anyway.

"Yes, it's very nice to see you all, but if I could just get to that shower, it would be lovely," He said anxiously before anyone could say more.

Isabelle showed him the way to a private room, letting him hold on to her arm as they walked slowly; then brought him her shampoo, soap, makeup and pressed a wrapped package into his hands with a sly grin. She informed him that Jocelyn and Luke were making dinner and it would be ready soon. Magnus just nodded and went to the bathroom before she even left his room. He was so eager to be alone and breathed a sigh of relief when the door was closed. Peace and quiet finally. He took a very reviving hot shower, ignoring the hot water burning his wound.

When he got back to his room he opened the package, inside which was a silver suit with a navy blue button up shirt and a matching silver vest completing it. There was also a set of eye shadows and eyeliners inside a glossy makeup bag. Magnus was so touched by Isabelle's gesture, he shed a few tears as he dressed.

* * *

 

To Alec's annoyance, Simon had joined them for dinner. Luke and Jocelyn had made lasagna, but even though it was delicious, no one ate much. Everyone was on edge and they were eager to hear Magnus talk about his experience with Valentine. The atmosphere was so tense that forks and knives kept slipping on the ground with loud clatters that broke the silence temporarily, before the table slipped back into its uneasy silence. No one knew what to say, up until Jace finally put the thoughts that everyone have been struggling with into words.

"So?" Jace eyed Magnus intensely. "What happened to y-"

"Jace, no," Alec interrupted Jace firmly. "We can do this after dinner." Alec was protective of Magnus; even though he wanted answers too, Magnus's wellbeing was more important to him right now. Jace pouted but didn't insist. Magnus gave Alec a grateful smile and Alec decided he really liked the way the thin silver line of eyeliner on his lower lid looked on him. They finished dinner silently.

To Simon's great disappointment, Jace didn't let them have any of the wonderfully displayed cheesecake for dessert. Instead, he helped Clary, Luke and Jocelyn put away the dirty dishes, insisting that they wash them later, and Simon joined them. Magnus watched the rush with amusement.

"Yes, everyone knows I'm even more delicious than cheesecake," Magnus commented cheekily. The shower and the food had improved his mood a little. Simon blinked at him doubtfully and Isabelle giggled like a schoolgirl for which she earned a playful wink from Magnus. Alec just stood there like a tall statue processing that sentence.

"You two love birds follow me," Izzy said after she recomposed herself. Then she led Alec and Magnus out of the kitchen to the conference room. They walked slowly due to Magnus's condition, but he was well enough to walk without help. Alec kept looking him up and down, ready to leap into action in case he fell or just needed his help. He still couldn't believe he was there with them and he was so grateful he even complimented Magnus's new clothes on the way.

"That looks really… umm… nice on you," He said softly and blushed. He remembered the silver tie he had with him and thought it would match Magnus's clothes and his makeup perfectly. But admitting to having that tie in his possession in the first place would have been too embarrassing for Alec, so he decided not to go through with it.

"Thank you, Alexander," He said warmheartedly.

"It was from me," Isabelle intervened flashing a smile at them.

"Your sister does have an impeccable taste, Alec," Magnus admitted with a small recognizing nod towards her.

"Well, I saw it the other day at the mall and I knew it would look great on you, so I _had_ to buy it," Izzy stated excitedly.

"We're in a middle of a war and you go shopping?" Alec shook his head at his sister. They finally reached the entrance of the conference room. Isabelle turned around to face them.

"A girl has her needs," Izzy answered with a smirk. She leaned on the doors behind her and spread her arms to open them.

Alec rolled his eyes but also couldn't help but smile at Izzy's dorkiness. They walked into the conference room which was only used in case of a meeting with representatives of the Clave or Shadowhunters from other Institutes. The room was so neutral looking it basically screamed traditional Shadowhunter business; it had a long black table with twenty black stuffed chairs around it; the floor was covered with a beige carpet and one of the long walls was occupied by a massive glass projection screen _._

Isabelle occupied herself with turning on the screens and Alec wished for more privacy with Magnus. Since the minute Magnus had woken up Alec had just wanted to be alone with him. There was so much he wanted to tell him, but before he could say a word to him Jace, Clary, Luke, Jocelyn and Simon rushed in the room like they were missing out on something important. Alec rolled his eyes in frustration as everyone poured in chattering about insignificant things. He felt Magnus's eyes on him, so he made an effort to smile and led him to the main seat of the table. He thought he had caught a glimpse of panic in Magnus's eyes as the others chose the closest seats to him, but when Alec looked again it was gone. He took a step closer to Magnus.

"Are you okay with this?" He asked him softly, so only Magnus could hear him. "Because we don't have to do this right now if you don't want to."

Magnus looked at him with tenderness and took Alec's hand.

"It's okay, Alec," He said, running his thumb over Alec's hand. "I feel much better now. The food really helped," Magnus smiled at him.

"Are you sure?" Alec asked, ignoring the pleasant warmth of Magnus's touch. He had the impression that Magnus was tired and only willing to do this to please him and his friends.

"Yes," Magnus said firmly and to show he was not accepting any more objections he gently pointed him to the chair on his left for Alec to sit in it.

Alec took the seat reluctantly. Everyone else was already seated. To Magnus's right Jocelyn, Luke and Clary sat next to each other, in that order; while on his left Alec, Isabelle and Simon formed the line. Jace was facing Magnus as he sat on the top of the table between Clary and Simon making it almost impossible for them to face each other. Magnus smirked at his attempt to keep them separated. Everyone was staring at Magnus intensely, resembling the lost boys in Neverland, waiting for Wendy to tell a story. Except that Magnus's story wasn't going to be an enjoyable bedtime story. Magnus stayed on his feet, rolled his eyes and let out a long sigh before beginning to narrate the story they were so anxious to hear. He knew he would have to spill the beans sooner and later, at the very least he had to inform the Nephilim about Valentine's army being destroyed. He could leave out the ugly details. But just after he told them that Valentine wanted him to create a portal, Isabelle interrupted him.

"Hold on for a second…" Isabelle raised her hands and drew all eyes to herself. "He wanted you to create another dimension of reality? I don't mean to offend you with this, but warlocks are not capable of doing that. That's heavy demon business."

"I didn't actually create another dimension of reality. I just created a portal into nothing. A dimension of… emptiness maybe?" Magnus still wasn't sure what was behind the portal he'd created, but he did know one thing. "Everything that went through the portal was disintegrated immediately. They just stopped existing."

"Still demon territory. How did you manage to pull that off?" Isabelle sounded genuinely intrigued and interested in Magnus's magic.

 _Damn it, why do you have such a smart sister, Alec?_ Magnus was definitely not going to bring up the fact that he had killed people in order to build that portal.

"Maybe it has to do with your, umm… demon parent?" Luke guessed awkwardly.

"What does that mean?" Alec asked confused.

 _Great job bringing up another topic I don't want to discuss, werewolf,_ Magnus thought annoyed.

"Basically, it means that my father was an especially powerful demon, which grants me especially powerful magic," Magnus answered. "So what Luke said… makes sense I suppose," He added and watched Alec for his reaction.

"Yes, but still…" Isabelle leaned in, determined not to let this go, and Magnus had to interrupt her.

"Let's just leave it at that… shall we?" He said firmly, holding a hand up to stop her from going on.

Everyone was caught by surprise by Magnus's insistence of not getting into more details, and they were waiting for Isabelle to continue, but she chose not to. She leaned back on her chair, still determined to dig deeper into that matter, and an awkward silence fell on the table. Magnus didn't wait for anyone else to ask him uncomfortable questions about his past, but went on with his story, walking from one side of the room to the other as he spoke; the others followed him with their eyes like he was a magnet.

He left out the murder ritual and the part when he killed one of Valentine's Shadowhunters out of rage and tortured another. He gestured a lot as a way of dissipating his anxiety. He stopped when it came to the part of his escape, the enraptured faces of his audience slightly unnerving him.

"So…" Jace interrupted the tense silence. "How did you escape?"

Magnus was very uncomfortable about this part. He found it difficult to say out loud what had happened. The horrible things that he'd done.

"When I finished Valentine's portal I opened a safe and regular portal and stepped through it," Magnus did his best to sound cool about it.

"Really? Just like that?" Jace raised his eyebrow. The others followed this conversation with their eyes like it was an exciting tennis match.

"Well, obviously Valentine wasn't so happy about it. He had to throw his knife at me," Magnus said dryly.

"So this is Valentine's?" Jace asked as he took the knife out of his belt.

"Yes," Magnus said blinked at the knife astonished.

"Good. You can help us track it down then," Jace said and put the knife on the table.

"Sadly, I can't. My magic is… gone," He said quietly. The gasps of astonishment from his audience only made him feel worse.

It didn't go unnoticed by Alec that Magnus avoided eye contact with everyone after that statement, like he was ashamed of not having magic. Alec's couldn't understand that reaction, but he knew this was a great loss for Magnus.

"Will it come back?" Jace finally asked.

"I really hope so. I would _die_ out of boredom if I had to live forever without magic," Magnus said half-serious and half-playful and Alec shifted uncomfortably.

"What about his army?" Jace asked after letting out a sigh.

"What about it?" Magnus asked cautiously.

"How many of them are there? How is their training going? What is Valentine's next move?" Jace's intense hunt for answers made Magnus blink and suddenly his body felt heavier.

"Well…" Magnus started down at the table's edge in front of him struggling with an answer.

_Now would be a good time to tell them, I suppose… But why is it so hard?_

He got the answer to his question a second later, when regret hit him like lightening. He froze as he remembered tossing the Shadowhunters across the portal in the desert and then unleashing all that magic to kill the rest of them. The weight of his acts of revenge on Valentine made him feel very small suddenly and he looked down on the floor as he answered.

"I'm not really sure," He said, his voice gone weary. "About one thousand Shadowhunters I'd say… and they were definitely planning an attack on this Institute."

"One _thousand?_ " Jace raised his eyebrow. "That's great," He said bitterly. "We don't have nearly enough Shadowhunters to fight them. And on top of that, we have an earth shaking demon on the loose to deal with."

"What's that now?" Magnus asked. Those words had definitely brought Magnus's attention back and he looked up at Jace.

"This." Jace turned on the monitor on the wall using the remote control lying next to him on the table and footage of a desert showed up, a desert that apparently was shaken by an earthquake. Magnus found the scenery very familiar.

"South Texas. We believe a higher demon caused this. Not sure about their motives yet. The Los Angeles Institute requested our help with the investigation. It happened three days ago, on the same day you showed up with a knife stuck on your back."

"Interesting…" Magnus muttered to no one in particular and looked away from the screen, fighting his own memories.

"You don't happen to know anything about it, do you?" Jace looked at him suspiciously.

"No! I mean yes… maybe?" Magnus hesitated. But then he decided to spill it out before the momentary courage that had possessed him flew away. "That was me, actually." He pointed at the screen. "This is how I escaped," He concluded and felt the confused looks on him.

But before anyone could verbally react to that, the door flung wide open and Maryse walked in followed by a group of Shadowhunters Magnus didn't recognize. All heads turned to face the unknown people and a hostile tension rose up in the room as Maryse turned her attention to Magnus.

"Bane," She pronounced the word as if it was a curse. She was clearly disappointed to see him standing there. "I wasn't aware that you regained consciousness," She added and then gave her children a look that instantly made them feel guilty. They were so excited about Magnus waking up they completely forgot to tell their parents.

Magnus didn't answer. Normally, he would have said something snarky just for the pleasure of watching her reaction, but at this moment he just realized how tired he was. He'd had enough of Shadowhunters expecting things from him, he was tired of this interrogation and most of all, he was tired of being looked at as a disgusting creature. All he wanted was to go home and stay there forever.

"These are the representatives from the Los Angeles Institute. They arrived about an hour ago," Maryse introduced the small crowd that had lined up by the wall. They watched the scene with confusion and Alec imagined they were not used to seeing such a diverse group of Shadowhunters and Downworlders in a meeting room. Maryse looked at the screen and approached it.

"We have new information about this. It looks like hundreds of Shadowhunters were crushed under that massive quake. We don't know who they were and why they were down there. But it looks like this demon was specifically targeting Shadowhunters," She said and then glared at Jace sitting on the table, transferring "not-in-front-of-our-guests" with her eyes. But Jace couldn't be bothered with it. Not after this huge revelation.

Magnus could sense their little engine's working as they put two and two together. Isabelle let out an audible gasp and squeezed Simon's arm in excitement. Jace and Alec exchanged a shocked look then Alec turned to Magnus questioningly. The seven of them stared at him with mixed expressions of shock, hope and even admiration. Magnus was glad the cat was finally out of the bag without him having to actually say the words out loud, but those piercing eyes were becoming too much to bear.

"Wait, wait a second…" Simon spoke up for the first time. "Are you saying… that _you_ caused that earthquake and destroyed Valentine's _entire_ army with it?"

 _Who the hell is this and why is he talking to me?_ Magnus looked at the excited vampire warily. He remembered him from the wedding, but he had no idea what he was doing here.

"I could hug you right now!" Simon exclaimed and a wide smile spread on his face.

"Please don't," Magnus's voice sounded almost like a whisper and he galred at Simon with wide eyes. Alec gave Simon a very hostile "don't-you-dare-touch-my-Magnus" look over Isabelle's head. She looked up at him and smirked at his extreme protectiveness over Magnus, and Simon felt like he had just been stomped on and shrunk a few inches from that look.

"What does he mean _you_ caused this?" Maryse asked annoyed. She clearly didn't like not having the control over the situation.

"He means that I turned Valentine's plan against him and destroyed his army," Magnus said, satisfied to see her shocked too. "Tell the Clave they're welcome," He added with a smug look.

Magnus caught the way Alec froze at his last sentence, and couldn't read it as a positive or a negative sign. He wondered if he was scaring Alec with his attitude towards Maryse. But he couldn't help it, she was making him so mad.

"Hah, right," Maryse snapped back. "Why don't you ask for a reward too?"

"Actually, Alexander's life was the price and no one can give me anything more precious than that," Magnus said that in such a fierce way it made even Jace gasp. Alec couldn't breathe and his cheeks burned in tomato color. But Magnus wasn't looking at him.

Magnus was too busy trying to control his own emotions. He was glad he didn't have magic in this moment, because he might have done something regretful with it. Everything was going fine until Maryse showed up with all of her arrogance and superiority, reminding him of Valentine. He didn't need to put up with this; he didn't _want_ to put up with it any longer.

"I'm leaving now," He announced with a tone that didn't allow arguement and everyone in the room tensed up. He didn't need magic to be powerful. "I cannot deal with you people any more. I need at least five drinks before I even _consider_ talking to a Shadowhunter again," He said angrily and no one stopped him as he stormed out of the room, leaving everybody speechless for minutes.

And then Isabelle stood up, clearing her throat.

"Excuse us, mother," She said innocently. "Alec is not feeling very well."

Alec looked up at her confused as she squeezed his arm and mouthed a silent "Get up" to him. He had no choice but to follow her out of the room.

"What are you doing?" Alec hissed at her when they were outside.

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm giving you the perfect opportunity to go after Magnus!" She was almost yelling at him.

"What? No! Didn't you listen to him? He doesn't want to talk to any of us," Alec objected shaking his head, not sure about what to do. Izzy just rolled her eyes at him, which really surprised Alec, since that had always been his move.

"Go. Now!" Izzy gave him a small push then went back inside the room and shut the door closed.

Alec blinked at the empty corridor. Izzy could surely drive him nuts sometimes, but she was a good sister. Could she be right about this? Would Magnus talk to him? He didn't know. But he took off and ran after Magnus anyway, hoping he would still catch him.

* * *

 

Magnus was leaving the Institute with mixed feelings. He controlled himself on the outside, but was such a mess on the inside. He hated how Maryse and those stupid Shadowhunters judged him for what he said; it only validated his guilt even more. And he also hated the worshipping looks, even more than he judgy ones. No one should congratulate him for killing a thousand people. Magnus looked back at it as an awful event that shouldn't have happened, even though he probably saved the entire Shadow World with that act. His only desire right now was to be in the comfort of his own home, get drunk and take another shower. He felt dirty again and suspected that not even ten showers could wash away his guilt and shame for what he had done to escape Valentine. There was so much he wanted to wash off of himself, but he was afraid there wasn't enough water in the world for that. He was just about to reach the entrance door when he heard Alec's voice behind him.

"Magnus, wait!"

Magnus stopped and turned around to see Alec running towards him. He was so tall and handsome; Magnus's breath was taken away by his beauty once again.

Alec was so relieved to see Magnus hadn't left yet. He stopped right in front of him and took a deep breath, doubting his own courage to do what he wanted to do.

"I know you said you don't want to see us and you want to go home… I was just wondering…" Alec couldn't continue due to his racing heart beat and he knew it wasn't because he had basically just run across the entire Institute.

"You know I didn't mean _you_ , Alec," Magnus said softly. Seeing that Alec cared enough to go after him like that put a pause on the turmoil of emotions he'd been battling with.

"Yeah. Right." Alec nodded hesitantly, but he didn't really know. He just assumed Magnus was tired of him too. Especially since he was the reason Magnus got into this messed up situation and got hurt.

"I just… Look, before you go… Can I… talk to you? In private? It will be quick, I promise." He looked at Magnus so pleadingly the warlock felt his heart beat faster. To Alec's relief, he nodded and let Alec lead the way into the housing corridor of the Institute with growing intrigue. Alec stopped at his bedroom's door and opened it for Magnus, who gave him a questioning look. Alec didn't say a word, he just looked at Magnus with determined eyes and waited until he finally stepped in his room and then, after taking a deep breath, Alec followed him and closed the door carefully behind him.


	17. Home

Magnus couldn't believe what was happening. He was standing in Alec Lightwood's bedroom. This was such an unexpected turn of events. But then again, the last two weeks had only presented him with unexpected events. Mostly unpleasant ones though, so Magnus was relieved for a change and a new wave of excitement rushed over his body.

He was so astonished by this event, it took him a couple of seconds to actually start looking around. His eyes wandered from the cream walls to the small wooden night stand that had a picture of Alec, Isabelle and a young boy who looked like he could be Alec's brother _._ The three of them looked so happy and Magnus had never seen such a genuine smile on Alec's face before. He decided he really liked that picture. Then his eyes continued to explore the white sheeted double bed, where they lingered for almost a minute, and then moved on to Alec's closet. Magnus was glad the sliding door was closed; that way none of Alec's unfashionable clothes would ruin his view, and also because it had a nice crayon drawing pinned on it. It was clumsily drawn, and for some reason Alec's hair was blue, obviously drawn by a toddler. It showed Alec holding up a bow, an arrow nocked, with a small child, Alec's little brother Magnus assumed, standing next to him with a tiny bow and arrow of his own, copying his pose. Magnus smiled at that drawing; he thought it was really sweet of Alec to keep it at his closet door, so every time he would change his clothes his eyes would meet it with fondness.

And that was basically all to see in Alec's room. There were no clothes lying around where they didn't belong; everything was at its rightful place. The room in general lacked personality; it was very simple and tidy, too neat for Magnus's taste.

 _Hmm, this place could use a little magic,_ Magnus thought tilting the top of his fingers together imagining the things he could improve in the room. If he had any magic, he would have conjured some brightly colored pillows and piled them on Alec's bed, and some flowers on his night stand to add a little color to the room. And that would have just been the start. But his makeover plans were interrupted when he noticed Alec had been watching him this whole time.

"Sorry," Magnus said and turned to Alec, who was almost leaning on the wall. "I'm all ears." He smiled at Alec and waited.

 _And eyes and lips and hands and arms and entire body, if that's what you want,_ Magnus thought as he looked into Alec's mesmerizing eyes. They just stared at each other for a while. Magnus didn't know what to expect from this mysterious call, but it surely was important if it made Alec so tense.

"I'm sorry about your magic." Alec broke the silence finally. His voice was deep but soft in a way that showed he meant those words.

Magnus's smile shrunk a little. He didn't know what to say to that. Now that his anger had been swept away, he felt this hole inside him, this empty feeling like when you compliment a friend and they completely ignore you. Magnus didn't like being ignored. He didn't like that his eternal friend, his magic, was giving him the coldest of shoulders. It felt like a crucial part of him was gone, like he was missing not only a friend, but a part of his soul. He looked down and let out a frustrated sigh.

"Has this ever happened to you before?" Alec asked curiously.

"No," Magnus admitted and looked up at him. "But I've never used so much magic at once either."

Alec gave him such a concerned look that Magnus was afraid his bitterness was showing in his voice. He shook his head and attempted a smile.

"Don't worry about it. It's only a matter of time before it comes back," Magnus answered wondering when that would happen. Sooner rather than later, hopefully.

"Is this why you asked me to come here?" He asked Alec, hoping to change the subject.

"No," Alec said and turned his head away shyly. Magnus waited patiently for him to take his time. He found Alec's struggle to express himself quite adorable. He was blushing even before speaking.

"You… you saved me," Alec finally said so quietly it was like he didn't want to be heard. But Magnus heard him just fine.

"Well, I couldn't just let New York's best looking Shadowhunter die, could I?" He said playfully and smiled at the way the redness spread from Alec's cheeks up to his forehead and down on his neck.

"Magnus, I…" Magnus has never seen Alec struggling like this before and he took pity on him. He was about to tell him there was no need to thank him for what he did and that he would do it again if it came to that, when Alec spoke again.

"Can we go out on our date? I've been really looking forward to it," He said and looked up into Magnus's eyes with determination, despite his fluster.

Magnus was caught completely off guard by Alec's bluntness. His lips parted as a small gasp escaped his throat and suddenly his face felt hot. Was he blushing? How could he be _blushing?_ He was the one struggling with the right words now and he was utterly amazed at how Alec managed to turn the tables on him. He tried to think of a decent answer, but his mind was suddenly overcome with flashes of himself in that dark chamber taking people's lives; all the anguish he had suffered to go through that, all the malice he never imagined he had inside him but in reality was only dormant. He remembered the look of fear on that child's face when he killed that rude Shadowhunter and tortured his friend; and the poisonous vengeance that took ahold of him when he destroyed Valentine's army.

Magnus felt dizzy for a moment; he couldn't breathe and Alec went out of focus. He had to blink a few times and take a deep breath to recompose himself.

"Alec… I would love to," He said with a shaky voice. "But maybe it would be best to wait."

Alec looked at him with a mix of confusion and concern.

"Wait for what?" He asked softly.

"For… this war to be over. Maybe we should… concentrate our forces on capturing Valentine for now," Magnus said and he had to admit he didn't sound half as convincing as he intended to be. He found it ironic that before Valentine kidnapped Alec, Alec had used that same excuse to avoid Magnus. Magnus really disliked this role reversal. But he disliked pretty much everything about himself at the moment, so he didn't know what else to say to make this sound less painful.

Alec felt his insides freeze. He felt so desperate and helpless as if he was facing an entire army of demons all alone. This was even worse than that. If he was facing an army of demons alone he would know it was a hopeless fight. He would accept the defeat, because there wouldn't be any other way around it. But this… Just when he started to get his hopes up, just when he thought things would finally get better… Magnus rejected him. And Alec didn't blame him. Why would Magnus want to be with him after all the trouble he had caused him? Alec felt like such a fool, he should have known better. Magnus wouldn't want him after all this; Alec managed to screw everything up. He just didn't know it would hurt this much. He didn't know it could hurt more than a demon's extinguishing strike. It was even worse than the pain he had felt as his bond with Jace had grown weaker.

"I understand. I should have known you wouldn't want me… after all this," Alec said, clearly upset and avoided Magnus's eyes. Magnus raised his eyebrow at Alec and felt an outbreak of panic rise inside him. How could Alec even _assume_ something like that? This wasn't right. Magnus had to fix it. But before he had a chance to say anything Alec spoke again.

"I have something that's yours," Alec said and took a tie out of his pocket. It was wrinkled, but Magnus recognized it as one of his own. He stared at the shiny silver tie as Alec went on.

"I didn't mean to steal it and I didn't go through your stuff or anything… it was just there." Alec felt very unstable at this point. He felt like he could burst into tears any second.

Magnus fixed his gaze on that tie thinking ' _You were in my bedroom… and I wasn't there for it?'_ Magnus silently cursed Valentine for that occurrence and tried desperately to think of a solution to the awful situation he was stuck in with Alec.

"Put it on me," He said suddenly with confidence.

"What?" Alec sounded stunned and tired.

Magnus nodded to encourage him and Alec shook his head to express _"this is stupid, but whatever"_ , but then he worked on putting the tie on Magnus without any results. His hands were shaking, his eyes were filling up with tears and he couldn't focus on the simple task at all.

Magnus knew Alec could tie a tie, you couldn't be a Shadowhunter without mastering this basic ability; and Alec's shaky hands told him everything he needed to know. He couldn't help himself anymore. He took the tie out of Alec's hands and threw it on the floor between them. He looked up at Alec with hungry eyes, but Alec didn't even have time to breathe, because Magnus pinned him against the wall, pulled him down by his shirt and crashed their lips together.

Alec was completely shocked from Magnus's action. He was left breathless as Magnus devoured his lips. Alec shivered from the sensation of Magnus's tongue sliding over his lower lip. Then he shivered even more when Magnus's tongue was sliding against his own, and he eagerly moved his own tongue to meet Magnus's. He let out a sigh into Magnus's mouth which made him kiss Alec even more vigorously.

Alec tasted so delicious Magnus couldn't stop himself. He took a step forward and placed himself between Alec's legs and cupped Alec's burning cheeks with his hands. From lack of room, Alec placed his hands on Magnus's waist and did the best he could to return the passion into Magnus's kisses, which led to Magnus letting out a moan. Magnus broke the kiss to catch his breath for a moment, but then decided that nibbling on Alec's lower lip was far more interesting than breathing, and he felt Alec's knees giving up instantly. But he didn't stop; he leaned his body onto Alec's to fix him on the wall and continued the rough kiss. He kissed him as if it was the last thing he would ever do. He wanted to express all his desperate need for Alec, he wanted to compensate for all the lost moments when he wanted to kiss him, but couldn't. He wanted to make sure Alec knew how much he was desired.

And Alec finally knew. His heart was at a million beats a minute and his chest was burning up from the recognition that Magnus still cared about him. He slowly slid his hands up on Magnus's sides until reaching his cheeks and caressed him with his fingers, drawing smooth lines along his jaw. He desperately needed some air, so he slowed the kiss down gradually and Magnus followed his pace until their lips were only touching. They leaned on each other's foreheads with closed eyes and listened to their heavy breaths and heartbeats fill the silence for a couple of minutes.

"This is how much I want you, Alexander," Magnus whispered and his hot breath brushed Alec's face.

Alec, eyes still closed, hummed softly before wrapping his hands behind Magnus's neck and shoulder, and pulling him in for another kiss. This time the kiss was slow and gentle; Alec wanted to share the happy bubble that formed around him and Magnus and he wished they could stay in this magical moment forever. Alec explored Magnus's mouth with his tongue until he had memorized every inch of it, then pulled away slowly to catch his breath.

Alec opened his eyes and the sight of Magnus just taking in the moment with his eyes still closed made him smile.

"That was _something_ … for a second kiss," Alec said hoarsely, surprised at his swollen lips. He didn't know kissing like that was even possible and he knew it was an experience he would never forget.

"More like a third or fourth kiss," Magnus said and opened his eyes. "Or fifth kiss? I lost count, I'm afraid."

"What are you talking about?" Alec looked at him confused, which made Magnus remember that Alec didn't believe the dream had been real and felt a lump in his stomach. He was worried Alec wouldn't take learning the truth so well. But he had to tell him, nonetheless.

"Do you remember that dream you had a few days ago… when you were at my loft? I was there too," Magnus admitted carefully and watched Alec's face intensely.

"What?" Alec blinked at Magnus a few times to process that information. "Wait, so that was… that was real?" Alec asked with wide eyes and Magnus didn't know what to expect.

"Yes. I visited you in your dream... Is that a bad thing?" Magnus asked apprehensively and held his breath.

Alec didn't know what to say for a moment. He had wished that dream had been real so badly, he never imagined it truly could have happened. Good stuff like that just didn't tend to happen to him. But now that he knew it was indeed real… he felt the bubble of happiness grow stronger around him and he couldn't help but smile from the satisfaction.

"No. No, actually it's… nice." He finally admitted.

Magnus smiled in relief and allowed himself to breathe again.

"Can I take you home?" Alec asked so earnestly that all Magnus could do was nod and let Alec pull him in for a hug.

"I'm so happy you're here," Alec whispered into Magnus's ear and Magnus was relieved that Alec was holding him, because he might have just fainted right there from the hot wave of joy that was drowning him. He didn't feel like he deserved such nice treatment, but he relished in it anyway.

Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec and held him tight. He closed his eyes and rested his head on Alec's shoulder, burying his face in Alec's runed neck and inhaled his sweet and comforting scent. There wasn't any other place in the world he would rather be. As he felt Alec's hands slowly caressing his back, careful enough not to put any pressure on his stab wound, Magnus realized that he was already home. Alec's gentle arms felt like the safest place for him and he never wanted to leave.

"Me too, pumpkin," Magnus said weakly and he felt Alec's muscles on his upper back and shoulders tense up.

Alec pulled away to face Magnus, but Magnus didn't let go of him, he just slid his hands down to Alec's waist. He loved being able to hold him like that that.

"Pumpkin?" Alec asked and flinched disapprovingly.

"You're right," Magnus admitted with a small nod. "You are too pale for a pumpkin." Magnus got excited at the idea of giving Alec cute nicknames.

"How about cherry pie?" He suggested. "Because you're pale on the surface, but you blush very nicely when someone gets under your skin," Magnus talked faster now as he got carried away a little. "And you know, it's delicious and sweet and…"

"Magnus…" Alec interrupted him dreadfully and he could put all the cherries in the world to shame with the red color his face acquired. He put so much emphasis on his next word it made Magnus chuckle. "…. _no._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh FINALLY, right??? :D Hope you enjoyed this. Leave a comment if you did (or didn't), I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	18. Love Him More

Alec rushed down the stairs before the door of the Institute closed behind him. It was a chilly evening and a light breeze disturbed the hair that Izzy had so carefully arranged. Alec was secretly grateful for Izzy helping him to get ready for his first date with Magnus. She even got him a new pair of dark jeans and a new blue t-shirt. Alec was really excited this was finally happening. He couldn't wait to spend more time with Magnus. So when he got a text from him saying 'Sorry, darling. Can't do tonight. Very tired.' Alec felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Was Magnus really tired, or was he getting cold feet? Now that he was safe again, and they could really be together was Magnus still interested in him? Maybe the thrill of wanting someone he couldn't have was the only thing that had gained Magnus's interest, and now that the barriers between them were gone Magnus had moved on.

Did Magnus really think he was going to back off now? Alec's need to find out what was going through Magnus's head was bigger than his insecurity, so after a few moments of hesitation he decided to see him despite the uninviting message.

* * *

 Magnus poured himself another drink after pressing send on the text to Alec. He couldn't face talking to him with the weight of the secret on his shoulders. He still hadn't told anyone about the atrocities he had committed and the people he had killed during his time as Valentine's hostage, and he intended to keep it that way. No one else had to know. He had to live forever knowing what he had done, he couldn't bear people's judgment on top of it.

He had to find a way to distract himself, to stop him from thinking about Alec or his terrible deeds. He attempted to read a book, but to no avail. He caught his mind wandering back to Alec or the people he had murdered almost every other page, and every few minutes he would realise with a start that he had been staring out of the window for a whole 30 seconds, not taking any notice of the book that lay discarded in his lap. With a sigh he snapped it shut loudly and chucked it towards the bookcase, waving his hand and channeling his magic to make it slide neatly in between the surrounding books. However, instead of being put away neatly it fell to the floor with a loud thud. Magnus forgot about his lack of magic at least once an hour, and he cursed loudly at his forgetfulness. He walked across the room and shoved the book back into the bookshelf roughly, not taking notice if it was put away properly.

He walked to the balcony and looked down at the empty street beneath him, watching the occasional car roar past. Maybe he could stay here forever, loathing didn't feel like he deserved anyone's company. Even Ragnor was gone since he had gone home. Magnus assumed it was for the best. He didn't need anyone to share his misery with, especially not Alec. Magnus closed his eyes and let his head tilt back so it was facing the sky, breathing in the night air and he felt how much the pain and the guilt had exhausted him. And the nightmares… He was just replaying the nightmare that had woken him up last night when the doorbell pulled him back to reality.

Magnus turned around and stared at the door with intrigue. He had no idea who this could be. He was just going to ignore it, but after the fourth insistent ring he sighed and put down his drink. He opened the door to face a messy haired Alec, and every feeling of aversion to seeing Alec vanished instantly.

Alec didn't let Magnus's eyes escape his from the second he opened the door. He wanted Magnus to know he really wanted to be there. He admired Magnus's perplexed face for a second, then held up the take out bags he brought with him from the Ethiopian restaurant they were supposed to meet at.

"I brought food," he said and waited. Magnus blinked at him a few times before letting him in, not totally sure that Alec was actually there. Alec walked in, relieved, and let Magnus take his jacket. Without a word, Magnus took the food from him and tipped it onto two plates, which then he took to the living room. It didn't go unnoticed by Magnus that Alec had brought food from the Ethiopian restaurant where they would have gone to their first date. He was touched by the thoughtful gesture.

Alec followed him to a new mahogany wood table with short, square legs accompanied by oversized sage green floor pillows, elegantly embroidered with gold thread. It was a much different look than Magnus usually chose, frequently preferring vibrant colors with more sparkle, but somehow it completely fit the warlock.

Magnus placed the plates on the Japanese styled table and Alec followed his steps and sat on one of the fancy green pillows. He shivered slightly, a breeze drifting through the open window from the chilly night outside. The apartment was colder than he cared to admit, but he saw Magnus raise his eyebrows at him. Magnus raised his hand, his palm splayed, and a little crease appearing between his brows as he concentrated.

After a second, Magnus's face fell and he lowered his hand. Alec realised with a start that he must have been attempting to use magic, and felt a burst of sympathy. He didn't know how it must feel to be deprived of something that was an essential part of one's soul.

"Right." Magnus regained his composure and stood up. "Wait here." He left the room, and Alec could hear him shuffling around outside the living room for a minute. He returned quickly, holding a thick purple blanket in one hand. He draped it awkwardly around Alec's shoulders, and then seated himself next to Alec.

"How's your back?" Alec asked after deciding not to start a 'why did you cancel our date' discussion.

"Better," Magnus murmured unemotionally.

 _Yep, fantastic date so far,_ Alec thought bitterly and wondered what he should do to make it better.

Magnus took a deep breath, he looked like he was mentally preparing himself for something.

"Why are you even here?" He asked. "Does my immortality not bother you anymore?"

Alec looked up at him, slightly caught off guard by Magnus's bluntness.

"I'm not gonna lie to you or myself. It does bother me. But I've decided not to worry about it for now," He answered in what he hoped was a reassuring tone.

Magnus studied Alec for a second, then pushed a plate of food toward him. Alec caught hold of it, and they ate in silence. Even though the food was delicious, neither of them could bring themselves to eat much. Magnus was unnaturally quiet, and Alec sneaked glances at him whenever he could, only to see him play with his food. Alec decided it was enough, so he took a deep breath and forced his next words out.

"If you don't want us… dating anymore… you should say so," He said quietly and looked down at his half-full plate.

Magnus's eyes snapped up to meet Alec's in surprise.

"It's not that I don't want to, Alec. It's just…. So much has happened." Magnus hid his emotions pretty well, forcing Alec to look up to read him better.

"I know. But it's over now," Alec said softly.

"It's not over until the Clave finds Valentine."

"Yes, but that's only a matter of time now. He's powerless. Thanks to you," Alec said matter of factly.

Magnus rolled his eyes and stared at something behind Alec as he replied.

"Yes, thanks to me… Many people are dead. I shouldn't have done what I did," He said and the amount of bitterness in his voice shocked Alec so deeply he was unable to speak for a moment. Why was Magnus feeling that bad about destroying Valentine's army? Alec couldn't figure it out.

"What are you talking about?" He said finally, shaking his head. "You stopped him from attacking us. You saved us."

"That is not all that happened." Magnus focused on Alec again. His sadness was passing on to Alec.

"What does that mean?" Alec asks confused.

Magnus didn't know what to do. Every trace of the happiness Alec showing up had brought him had vanished by now. Magnus was miserable. Part of him wanted to tell Alec; perhaps he would feel better if he shared what troubled him. But another part of him was too concerned about Alec's possible reaction to his confession. Magnus dreaded seeing the look of repulsion he felt with every fiber of his being expressed on Alec's perfect face. As he faced a confused Alec all Magnus could think about was losing Alec again. And he knew he couldn't bear that a second time. He had barely survived it the first time and was sure he would not survive it again. His heart felt heavier as he looked into those beautiful hazel eyes, making him let out a sigh.

"You can tell me, Magnus." Alec sat up straight on the pillow looking determined.

_Can I really? Will you judge me? Will you still want me after you hear the truth?_

Magnus took a deep breath after deciding to risk everything.

"Your sister was right. Creating the portal Valentine wanted was beyond my abilities. I am powerful, just not that powerful. And Valentine knew that. So he… forced me to use dark magic."

Alec stared at him cluelessly.

"That involved…" Magnus couldn't continue. He broke off the eye contact with Alec and got on his feet to walk away from him. He wouldn't be able to continue if he had to look him in the eye. So he faced the wall instead.

"I killed people, Alec. I killed downworlders. I killed Hodge. And I killed one thousand innocent people." Magnus's voice was filled with pain.

Alec was overwhelmed by all this new information. He shifted uncomfortably on the pillow as he processed it all. Magnus killing downworlders? And Hodge? The knowledge hit Alec suddenly and fiercely. He certainly wasn't expecting to hear that. He just couldn't picture him hurting anyone; he was still not over the fact that Magnus had killed Valentine's entire army. But then again… if it wasn't for Alec none of it would have happened. Alec let out a long sigh and forced himself to get over his own guilt loaded reaction.

"They weren't innocent people," He said, wishing Magnus would look at him. "They joined Valentine. They knew the consequences."

Magnus stood there in silence, and Alec felt his concern towards him grow. He stood up and approached Magnus warily. He didn't want to invade his space, but he also wanted to be there for him to provide some level of comfort since it was apparent Magnus was struggling.

"Valentine was just going to use them to kill all of us . You had no choice, Magnus," He said.

"There were children there." Magnus's voice was thick with the sound of unshed tears. "About your brother's age… And even younger. Do you think they wanted any part of that? Do you think they deserved it?"

 _No, I don't,_ Alec thought closing his eyes for a second. This wasn't easy on him, but he imagined it must be even worse for Magnus, so he felt the need to help him.

"You did what you had to do to survive. I admire that." Alec stepped closer to Magnus and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "And this is a war, Magnus. There are no easy choices. Trust me, you did the right thing."

"It doesn't feel like it." Magnus finally turned to face Alec with tears in his eyes. "I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see them, screaming. What I did woke something in me I didn't know was there. I'm glad my magic is gone, because… I don't want to hurt anyone else. That's my worst nightmare."

Alec gazed at Magnus in awe. It had never occurred to him that Magnus might fear what he was capable of, that his demon half was a constant source of fear. The vulnerability that Magnus showed affected his soul deeply. Alec was touched by his honesty and the depth of emotion his words revealed. He knew it was rare to find someone who dreaded hurting others more than even hurting themselves. The unselfish way Magnus cared about others was one quality that drew Alec to the warlock in a way no one else ever had. Alec had always found himself drawn to Magnus but this was different, more intense. The way he was willing to sacrifice himself to save others yet feared causing pain filled Alec's chest with warmth. His heart swelled as he watched Magnus's tears fall down his cheeks and wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Magnus and protect him from all the evil of the world. Alec had an overwhelming need to comfort Magnus and explain what his words meant to him, even if he couldn't put into words what he was feeling himself.

"Your worst nightmare is that you hurt people?" He asked incredulously.

Magnus gave him a small nod, somehow sensing the revelations that were currently occurring inside Alec's head and didn't want to disturb them.

After Magnus's confession Alec felt the burn in his chest intensify, filling him with emotions he had never experienced and couldn't understand. The only thing he was sure of was how much Magnus had grown on him. He had become far too precious and Alec didn't care anymore what terrible deeds Magnus had committed; he had done them all for him and Alec and felt himself falling even further for Magnus.

He was so grateful to have him in his life, he pulled him close and kissed him sweetly on the lips. Magnus was too shocked to kiss back at first, but as Alec wrapped his arms around him, his body relaxed and he returned the the kiss eagerly.

Alec managed to pull Magnus gently against the couch without separating their lips. He he felt the taste of Magnus's tears and the wet on his skin from the friction against Magnus's, wishing to soothe his pain away. He was completely lost in the bliss of Magnus for what seemed like hours until a bitter thought broke through the perfect fluffy cloud he was floating on with Magnus, making him break the kiss reluctantly.

"I… I should go," Alec said groggily.

"You can stay if you want," Magnus replied softly after catching his breath.

"I can't… We have new recruits arriving first thing in the morning. I have to be there." Alec pulled away from Magnus to attempt the difficult task of recomposing himself.

"I understand." Magnus nodded and took Alec's hand to lead him out of his loft. He figured it was best to walk him out now or he might not be able to do it later. But when they stepped out of the entrance door and Alec turned to him to say goodbye Magnus leaned in and kissed him again. It was a slow, but burning kiss. All their previous kisses had been so desperate, always heated with the need to confirm what they had was real. Magnus was happy that now they got to enjoy each other properly. He finally allowed himself to relax, thanks to Alec's incredible support. Magnus loved him even more after this and he could feel a bubble of happiness bursting in him as he cupped Alec's face.

"Thank you," Alec said hoarsely after pulling back a little. Their noses were still touching and he was happy to notice that Magnus's tears had been dried up.

Magnus lowered his hands from Alec's face and looked into those bright brown eyes he loved so much, seeking clarification.

"For saving my life," Alec whispered and pulled away to squeeze Magnus's hand.

"Anytime, Alexander," Magnus answered with the sweetest smile Alec has ever seen on him, making everything inside him melt instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shaky first date, huh? ;) Hope you enjoyed it!  
> This story is slowly coming to an end now... Next chapter is going to be the last one. But I do have a sequel set in my mind, let me know if you'd be interested in reading more!


	19. The War Is Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, friends! It's been a long time, I know. Forgive me! Sadly, this is the last chapter of this story. BUT, I'm planning on doing a sequel. I want to know if you guys would be interested in reading more, so LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT A SEQUEL IN THE COMMENTS. And THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! I'm writing a new Malec story, it's called "What I Did For Love" if anyone's interested...update is coming soon there too.  
> ENJOY!

When Alec announced he wasn't going back to the Institute he could feel Izzy's curious look on him, but he didn't care. He walked away before she had a chance to ask anything and headed straight to Magnus' place.

He had decided to visit Magnus when he woke up that morning after some painfully short sleep. He couldn't sleep last night; his couldn't stop thinking about Magnus and how much he'd missed him. It had been two days since their first shaky date and they had only texted each other a few time since then. The non-stop hunt for Valentine had made Alec and all of his friends so busy that they barely had time to sleep. Despite their tiring missions, Alec only became more determined. He knew that the sooner they caught Valentine, the sooner Magnus would be out of danger and Alec would finally have a decent amount of time to spend with him. But that was only one of the reasons behind Alec's determination to find Valentine. Alec's hatred towards Valentine was another. Alec was so angry at him, first for taking Jace and deceiving his brother, then for taking and hurting Magnus. Alec's anger fueled his quest to find Valentine not only to get justice for the Shadow World, but also to get his own revenge. He couldn't wait to get his hands on Valentine and teach him a lesson or two about the consequences of hurting the people he loved.

He loved Magnus. Alec didn't know why or how it happened, it just did. And he knew it was crazy, because they've only been out on one date, if one could even call _that_ a date, and they only shared a few kisses. And he had no clue whether Magnus felt the same way or not. But those kisses and just being around Magnus have been the best moments of Alec's life so far. Besides all that, Magnus wasn't the only thing that's been growing on him; Alec was starting to like himself more too. Ever since he met Magnus, Alec was starting to figure out what he wanted in his life and could finally stand up to himself. He was more confident and motivated to go after what he wanted _,_ and he had decided that people who couldn't accept who he was had no place in his life. And when he tried to think about what have happened if Magnus hadn't made it back safely from Valentine… Well, the thought of it made him absolutely terrified. That was when he knew he was in love with Magnus Bane. It was clear now.

Alec knew he should be trying to get some sleep before the long day ahead, but he'd had enough of waiting. He didn't care that Valentine had not yet been caught. He didn't just want to see Magnus, he needed it. He needed to settle the battles in his heart and he couldn't do that without seeing Magnus.

Alec's thoughts about Magnus were multiplying in his mind until he realized he'd been staring at his door for the Angel knew how long. He suddenly realized how late it was, almost three in the morning and Alec wondered if he'd just made an unwise decision. He didn't want to disturb Magnus' sleep, but Alec also remembered him complaining about not being able to sleep since he had escaped Valentine, so instead of ringing the bell he risked a quiet knock on the door and hoped for the best.

To Alec's surprise, the door was answered almost immediately and a startled Magnus was facing him. Alec was caught off guard by his beautiful features immediately and breathing was becoming hard.

"Alexander?" Magnus asked hesitantly.

"Hey," Alec muttered. "I know it's late… I hope I didn't wake you." Alec swallowed his nervousness back to his stomach, hoping it would stay there and looked at Magnus waiting for some sign that said he was welcome.

"Are you hurt?" Magnus asked and scanned Alec's body with his eyes, which made Alec self-conscious about the way he must be looking. He didn't go to the Institute to change, but came here right after an intense demon battle, so he imagined he must look awful right now.

"No," Alec said quietly and looked away shyly.

"Are you okay?" Magnus seemed like he didn't catch Alec's previous answer.

"I'm fine," Alec said and glanced back at Magnus.

"Do you need anything?" Magnus completely disregarded Alec's answers and continued to examine him with his eyes.

"Magnus, I'm fine," Alec said reassuringly. "I just wanted to see you."

Magnus finally looked him in the eye and Alec sensed his surprise; Magnus was definitely not expecting to see him. What if showing up like this was a bad idea after all? Alec felt his insecurity creep up on him once again, but he didn't get a chance to put it into words, because Magnus took Alec's hand and pulled him inside. Alec heard the door close behind him, but everything else went undetected by him; his senses were completely lost from Magnus' hands encircling his waist and his intense gaze. Alec looked deeply into Magnus' burning golden eyes wondering if his own eyes or even brain would set alight if this eye contact went on for much longer.

But Alec's eyes and brain were spared from such a tragic end when Magnus pulled him close and pressed their lips together for an impassioned kiss, taking Alec's breath away instantly. Alec brushed Magnus's lower lip with his tongue and took the opportunity Magnus presented him when he moaned; Alec slipped his tongue in Magnus' mouth and felt both himself and Magnus shiver as he explored the interior of his mouth. Alec was now holding Magnus close to his body while Magnus' hands went on a slow trail from Alec's waist, through his arms and shoulders, up to his face. Magnus tasted subtly of alcohol and something sweet and Alec kissed him so passionately as if he wanted to get intoxicated himself.

Alec felt Magnus' strong embrace around his neck and pulled him so close that their upper bodies were practically glued together. He loved the heat that radiated off Magnus' strong body. He loved the way Magnus responded to his kiss, but he also knew he couldn't keep this up for much longer; he really didn't want to faint, so he broke the kiss to get some air.

"Alexander…" Magnus was panting heavily too. "You certainly know how to… sweep a man... off his feet."

Alec just noticed that Magnus had leaned on the couch as he was recovering his breath. Alec felt guilty; he'd forgotten that Magnus didn't have the runes he did, or even his magic anymore. It was a strange feeling, being stronger than Magnus, and one he found rather uncomfortable.

"Sorry…" Alec mumbled and felt himself blush.

"Nonsense! It was a compliment, dear," Magnus said and then placed a soft lingering kiss on Alec's lips.

When they parted again Magnus smiled at Alec and brushed the back of his hand across Alec's burning cheek. Alec let out a deep breath and smiled back. He was so happy in this moment, he wished he could wrap himself and Magnus in a bubble and stay in there forever.

"I was just about to make tea. Would you like some?" Magnus purred to Alec.

"Tea?" Alec asked skeptically. "Since when do we drink tea here?" He added and couldn't stop himself from smirking at Magnus' utterly shocked expression.

"Alexander!" He exclaimed. "Tea is one of the most wonderful beverages in the world!"

Alec crossed his arms and nodded while trying to keep up a serious face.

"But if you want something stronger I can provide that too," Magnus said after regaining some of his composure.

"No, tea is fine," Alec said with a casual nod and watched Magnus head to the kitchen. Magnus stopped just before reaching the kitchen doorway and turned back to Alec.

"Please, make yourself at home," he said then disappeared into the kitchen.

Alec walked around the couch and sat on its right end. He leaned on his knees, folding his hands together, and replayed the image of Magnus' startled face. Alec had no idea Magnus was so protective of his tea. There was still so much he didn't know about Magnus, but Alec was looking very much forward to getting to know him better. He also made a mental note to tease him more about his love for tea in the future.

It was a calm dawn in Brooklyn. Alec heard Magnus preparing the tea and concluded that coming here tonight was the best decision he'd ever made - aside from calling off the wedding with Lydia and kissing Magnus in front of all the guests. That moment still held the award of the boldest and craziest thing Alec had ever done. Alec knew there were plenty of obstacles he still had to face with Magnus, - Magnus' immortality was one of them - but he felt stronger with Magnus, like he was capable of facing anything. He loved this new feeling and loved Magnus for bringing him so much happiness. Alec noticed some birds chirping and his heart wanted to join them in their joyful song.

A couple of minutes later, Magnus walked back holding a tray, that contained what looked like an ancient black iron kettle with two matching tea cups. They looked like pieces someone would find in an antique shop. Magnus placed the tray on the center table, the same one they had dinner on two days ago on their first attempt at a date, then poured some tea into the mugs. He handed one of them to Alec and their fingers touched only momentarily, but that was enough to send a wave of electric excitement through Alec's body.

Magnus took his own mug and sat next to Alec but not too close to him. As Alec sipped his tea he had to admit it was really good. He'd never tasted such a unique blend before, but then again he wasn't much of a tea drinker, so he had no idea about what could be in it. He considered asking Magnus, but the quietness was nice and Alec didn't want to disturb their peace. So they enjoyed their tea in silence, enjoying the calmness that the other's presence brought them.

Soon enough, Alec's eyelids started to feel heavy. Despite his weariness, Alec could feel Magnus' eyes on him, so he shook his head a little to keep himself awake. He didn't want Magnus to have the wrong impression that he was bored.

"Long night?" Magnus asked quietly.

"Yeah," Alec said without looking at Magnus. Turning his head seemed like too much effort in that moment. He was surprised at how sleepy he sounded and could still feel Magnus' gaze on him.

A moment later Magnus leaned forward and took Alec's empty mug out of his hand and placed it back on the tray, beside his own. Then he gently took Alec's hands.

"Come here," Magnus said softly and pulled Alec close to him.

Alec followed Magnus's guidance and leaned in, resting his head on Magnus' chest and curled his feet up on the couch beside him. Magnus wrapped his arms around him and Alec let out a sigh at his warm embrace, deciding that he loved being in Magnus' safe arms. He couldn't think much as he inhaled the comforting smell of Magnus. But as he slowly drifted into sleep he was certain of one thing.

Alec's heart was finally at peace.

* * *

The single tear slowly trailed its way down on Magnus' cheek. Magnus had no words to describe what he was feeling, he just immersed himself in it. Alec showing up there was unexpected, but it was nothing compared to Alec showing him how much he cared about him. As Magnus gently caressed Alec's back, he realized that he hadn't felt this happy in a very long time. And he had this beautiful Angel in his arms to thank for it.

Magnus placed a soft kiss on the top of Alec's head when he noticed he had fallen asleep. _I love you so much, Alexander,_ he thought as he rested his chin on Alec's head. Magnus loved having Alexander in his arms; that nice warm weight brought him the peace his soul so desperately needed. Maybe things would start getting better now; maybe he could finally move on. Perhaps Magnus could start forgiving himself for all his terrible acts. It wouldn't be an easy process for sure, but at least now he had help; if Alec thought he wasn't a monster and was worthy of being happy then maybe he should start believing it too.

Magnus closed his eyes and before he fell into the very much needed sleep, he assured himself that everything would be okay with Alec by his side. He fell into a serene sleep, holding onto Alec, with a smile on his face.

All was well for now.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


End file.
